Nihilistic
by Nine1
Summary: Daisuke is slowly losing himself. On the verge of being kicked out of school, and involved in an unhealthy relationship with his boyfriend, he continually feels the need to get away from it all. Yamato decides to fulfill that need for him. Yamasuke.
1. Chapter One

A/N: I had said that I was going to scrap this, but I decided to put it up because sometimes I just get in a morbid mood and I grow tired of having to create something new, only to get tired of it and try to delete it later on. So this is the dark and morbid story of the romance between Daisuke and Yamato. It starts off as a Kensuke, but it doesn't stay that way. The story is titled Nihilistic because that's what I think Daisuke would be if his crest broke and he turned gothic and disturbed (and I can't help but love Gothic and Disturbed Daisuke), and for once I want to make a story where Dais is the disturbed one and Yamato is the more innocent, though morbidly interested in the slightly-psychopathic boy. So, uh, yeah, I think that's how this happened. Review when you're done?

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, Daisuke, Yamato, or Ken. Sora's name is mentioned once...I don't own her, either. 

Daisuke showed up to school that day at his usual time: About two hours late. He walked into the building, glancing around for teachers, his ears turning sensitive and his eyes darting around. He didn't see anyone around, so he snuck down the math hall to his classroom. He didn't knock before entering, pulling the door open and looking at his math teacher.

His teacher paused in the middle of a sentence and looked over at him, not too surprised. She had long since gotten used to him coming in this late. She lowered her head to look at him over the top rim of her thick glasses.

"Mr. Motomiya, you showed up today," she said, sounding slightly impressed.

He looked away from her, looking around the classroom at the people sitting in the desks. The back-row junkies smirked at him, the preps rolled their eyes, and the kiss-asses gave him looks of disgust. The other students were all either asleep or daydreaming. He walked towards his seat in the back row, in the left corner of the classroom. The junkie who had been sitting there got up quickly, grabbing his books. He stood there for a while, looking dumbfounded, and then Daisuke looked up at him, eyes narrowed slightly, and he got out of the way. Daisuke slipped by him and slid into his desk, slouching down and gripping the edges of the desk. He stared hard at the teacher, stone-faced. She turned away from him and continued on her lecture.

Daisuke automatically slapped his gray notebook onto the desk and pulled a sharpened pencil out of the large pocket along the leg of his baggy jeans. He opened it up to a fresh page and began to doodle. His teacher gave him disapproving looks every once in a while, and each time she did, a new curse word appeared circling around the drawing of a stick figure that resembled his teacher, with a line going around her neck and up towards the top of the paper. Once, a curious nerdy girl with huge glasses turned in her seat to glance at his paper. She read one of the phrases circling the drawing and gasped. He glanced up at her sharply and she turned around, her cheeks stained pink.

His teacher looked towards them and shook her head. She began walking towards him. Daisuke calmly turned the page to a drawing of a dead dog. He figured it was nicer-looking than the drawing of her he'd been working on. She slapped her hand down onto the page to make sure he wouldn't turn it at the last second and peered down at it. Her mouth formed a small "o" shape and she looked up at him in half-fear and half-disgust. She pointed to the door.

"Out," she whispered, almost venomously.

"Why? I haven't done anything to you," he said calmly. 

"Get out!" she yelled.

He got up, grabbed his notebook and his pencil, and began pushing past her. At the last second, he turned toward her, pencil raised in a fist and screaming something unintelligible. She shrieked and brought her hands up in defense as he stopped the pencil in between her eyes, suspended in the air, not more than an inch away from the bridge of her nose. She trembled where she stood, her eyes opened wide, and Daisuke felt a small bit of pleasure at her fear. He brought the pencil back down, grinning at her, and simply walked out of the classroom, whistling.

He headed straight towards the exit door, figuring he couldn't go back there ever again. He'd just have to change classes...unless she kicked him out before he could. He walked towards the band hall, which was probably empty at this time of day. He always went there to escape school when he needed to, which was extremely often. 

The band hall was located separate from the school, and was a more-or-less small building, with around eight different practice rooms to hide in. And, of course, there always was the bathroom. He walked in and began whistling again to the tune of a Stabbing Westward song. He walked straight towards the trumpet practice room, where he enjoyed hiding the most, because it had a corner next to a large bookcase sort of thing, where he enjoyed squeezing himself in between and sleeping the day away. He was just about to enter the room when he heard voices from the main practice room. He stopped in his tracks. Someone was in the band hall? At this time? 

Curiosity getting the better of him, he snuck towards the main practice room, peering through the crack that the slightly-open door provided. There were four guys in the room, two leaning against a wall, one sitting on the floor, and the fourth sitting on a chair, a guitar on his lap. The one with the guitar was strumming it and singing to himself. The other three were discussing something heatedly.

Daisuke felt odd eavesdropping, so he turned to sneak away from the room, figuring he could go somewhere else and come back to the band hall later. Then, he realized he recognized the voice of the boy singing. 

"I am all you need to know, I am everywhere you go...no one can save you now, when it all comes around," the boy was singing softly. Daisuke recognized the song, though he didn't remember who sang it or what it was called. He felt oddly lured to the music and snuck back to the door, hanging around a while longer just to hear that voice sing. He tried to remember how he knew it.

"Yamato," one of the boys said, turning to the singer, "we're trying to discuss something here. Could you shut up a while?"

The singing stopped and the boy with the guitar turned to look at the one who had just spoken to him, annoyed. Daisuke saw a side view of the face of the singer-boy. Recognition hit him.

__

That's Yamato Ishida, he thought. _The lead singer from the Teenage Wolves._

He had been to some of the gigs that the Teenage Wolves had played at. Daisuke enjoyed going to the gigs of the local bands when he had nothing else to do on weekend nights. He even had little notes on each band he saw written in one of his notebooks. He vaguely remembered writing about how much he loved the way Yamato's voice sounded when he really got into the music.

Just then, the door was yanked open and Daisuke almost fell forward into the room. He looked up, a look of shame crossing his face for just a second before returning to its usual unemotional look. A boy with black hair and green eyes raised his eyebrow at Daisuke, his hand still on the doorknob. 

"Yes?" the boy asked. The other three in the room turned to look at them.

Daisuke shoved his hands into his pockets. "I heard singing. I thought I'd listen in a while." 

The black-haired boy grinned and tossed a glance back over his shoulder. "That would be Yamato's singing...it's hard to get him to shut up once he gets going, you know?"

Daisuke leant against the doorway. He looked over the faces of the boys in the room, taking small mental notes at each thing he observed. When he got to Yamato, he couldn't help but stare. Yamato was freaking beautiful. He looked like a girl. Yamato raised an eyebrow when he saw he was being checked out.

"Take a picture, it lasts longer," Yamato said dryly, used to the attention his good looks drew to him.

"You got a picture of you?" Daisuke asked, bringing his eyes back up to Yamato's. "I'd like one."

Yamato looked faintly amused, but then rolled his eyes and stared at the nearby wall. "Ask anyone in the school...they probably have a few extras on them."

"Everyone likes you?" Daisuke asked.

Yamato glanced at him. "What, you didn't know?"

"I don't come to school much," Daisuke said shortly, kicking the floor with the front part of his shoe. "And anyways, I can see why they'd want pictures of you."

Yamato couldn't help but roll his eyes at the too-often-heard comment. He was too used to flattery. He knew he was good-looking, but it still annoyed him the way some of his peers were prone to gawking at him as he passed them in the hallways.

"Cut the compliments," Yamato said a little harshly. "It's the last thing I want to hear right now, okay? I don't want to hear about my 'hot bod' anymore. I'm more than just a sexy body, you know."

His three friends rolled their eyes and laughed a little at Yamato's last comment. 

Daisuke got a slight look of confusion and hurt in his eyes. He tilted his head slightly to one side.

"I was talking about your soul," he said.

Yamato stopped staring at the wall to give him a weird look. "What?"

"You've got a beautiful soul, Yamato. I can tell by the way your face looks when you sing. Your soul is very sad, but also very beautiful. I wanted a picture of you singing."

Yamato stared at him, his mouth slightly open. His friends looked confused, and then looked at each other and laughed, thinking this guy was nuts. What was this crazy fruitcake still doing here, talking to their friend?

"What do you mean?" Yamato asked softly, not realizing his voice was barely audible.

"Look, we were in the middle of something before you interrupted," one of the other boys told Daisuke, feeling annoyed that he was still there. 

Daisuke didn't look at him. He didn't even show any sign of having heard him. His eyes bored holes into Yamato's eyes. 

"Hey, psycho boy," the boy said again, snapping his fingers in Daisuke's face. "It's time for you to leave."

Daisuke immediately reached out and grabbed the snapping fingers, bony fingers clenching down on the thicker ones they held tight. The boy let out a small yelp and tried to pull his hand away. Daisuke held on, his fist shaking slightly with the force he was using to crush the other boy's fingers. He turned his gaze from Yamato to the boy, his eyes flickering in anger.

"Don't snap your fingers in my face like that," Daisuke told him, his voice low and seemingly calm. 

"Yeah, okay, whatever, just let me go!" the boy yelped.

Daisuke held on a second longer, glaring death into the eyes of the panicked boy, and then slowly let him go. The boy yanked his hand back, rubbing his fingers gently and making a small, pathetic moaning sound. Yamato looked from his friend's hand to Daisuke's eyes, his own deep blue eyes shocked.

Daisuke turned to stare at Yamato, his eyes softening slightly, but still angry. Yamato nearly cringed at the anger hidden behind those amber-colored eyes. Daisuke wordlessly turned and walked out of the band hall, his hands shoved in his pockets once again.

They heard a door slam shut, and they all remained quiet a while. Then, the black-haired boy stepped forward to ask his friend if he was alright, inspecting his hand. Yamato was still staring at the door. He broke himself out of his trance and strummed his guitar again, looking up at his friends.

"Who was that?" he asked hesitantly.

"That was Motomiya," the black-haired boy said, his voice containing a hint of resentment. 

"Motomiya?" Yamato asked.

"Daisuke Motomiya," the other boy said. "You know, the troublemaker kid that has been giving the teachers and administrators hell all year? He was that kid that set fire to the math exams in the boy's bathroom last week." 

Yamato's eyes lit up briefly, a small smile appearing on his face. He remembered then when his classmates had all been talking about that bathroom incident the day after it happened. He had thought that whoever had had the guts to do something like that had his respect. He'd always thought, since then, that he'd like to get to know the person behind it, and behind all of the other multiple acts of rebellion that the boy had executed over the school year. He was surprised the kid hadn't been expelled yet.

"He hasn't been expelled yet?" Yamato asked, voicing his last thought. 

"Nope, but I heard from my physics teacher that the principal was going to do something like that the next time he screwed up again."

Yamato bit a corner of his lip and his eyes moved to look at the doorway where the spiky-haired redhead had been standing minutes before. He couldn't help but let a smile cross his face. 

"Sora was right," Yamato said thoughtfully. His friends looked at him questioningly. "She said that the kid that was doing all that stuff may have been doomed to fail his classes or get kicked out, but he was pretty damned hot."

His friends all gave him warning looks and started to look worried.

"Don't tell me you're going to try to get to know him," one of them said, sounding as if he dreaded hearing the answer.

Yamato only gave him a mischievous smile.

And so was the first official meeting of Daisuke Motomiya and Yamato Ishida.


	2. Chapter Two

A/N: Uh...This chapter is mainly just the Kensuke. They have a very weird relationship. Yup, they do, but in some twisted way, I think the relationship is the funniest thing...anyways, I'll shut up now and let you all read.

Daisuke stared down at the stain of dark liquid on the floor before his feet. He made a face at it and tilted his head to the side. He could still smell it - it was the smell of blood, but he couldn't quite tell if it was human or animal, since it seemed to be old. He heard a crash from somewhere in the house and glanced up, eyes narrowing slightly. He began walking through the house to the bedroom.

On his way, he stopped in front of the refrigerator in the kitchen. He stared at the freezer part for a long time, debating whether or not to open it. He felt his fingers twitch, and he quickly grabbed the door and yanked it open on impulse. He was greeted with the rotten stench of decay and nearly gagged - he was already somewhat used to that smell. He glanced up briefly and his eyes met with two black, glassy beads. They were slightly protruding from the area around it. The fur seemed to be brown, but it was hard to tell with the blood mixed into it. Daisuke was pretty sure it was a dog.

He shoved the door closed and stalked to the bedroom, hands forming fists. He shoved the door open and stared at the boy sitting on the windowsill, his legs drawn up in front of his body, staring out the window through a crack in the blinds. The hand holding the blind up to form the crack was streaked a dark red color.

"Ken," Daisuke said tiredly, letting his arms drop to his sides. "What did I tell you about dead animals?"

"Don't store them in the fridge, just do what I want with them and then bury them in the backyard," Ken replied automatically.

Daisuke dropped to his knees where he stood and slid to the side, sitting on the floor and pulling his legs out in front of him. He rested his hands on his lower thighs and leaned forward, staring at Ken. Ken slowly turned around and looked at him, eyes almost completely closed. He opened them a bit more and gave a lazy smile to the other boy.

"I missed you at school today," Ken told him.

"Why can't you come to my school?" Daisuke grumbled, gripping his knees. "It'd give me a reason to go to that hellhole."

Ken stayed silent awhile, then looked back outside. "It's better when you keep it refrigerated," Ken mumbled.

"What?"

"Roadkill. It gets hard, and then you get to chop it up with an axe..."

"You don't have an axe," Daisuke grinned.

"I do now." Ken turned and gave him another lazy, dead smile. Daisuke shook his head and rested his forehead against his knees, closing his eyes.

Ken walked over and dropped to the floor, then began crawling to him on his hands and knees. Daisuke lifted his head as Ken reached him, leaning forward over his knees to kiss Daisuke. Daisuke reached a hand up to rest on the back of Ken's head, holding him in place as he kissed him thoroughly. Ken bit down on his tongue and Daisuke let out a small whimper. Ken shoved Daisuke back onto the floor and gently crawled forward to lay over the boy, in between his sprawled legs. Ken shoved Daisuke's head back and Daisuke quickly complied, not wanting to get hurt again. He purred when Ken dragged long, sharp nails over his throat and one shoulder, then down the center of his chest. He tilted his head back even more, arching into Ken as the violet-haired boy reached around and dug his nails into his back. Daisuke let pleasure overtake him and opened his eyes to grin wickedly at the door behind him when Ken dragged his nails down his back. 

"You sharpened them again," Daisuke growled.

"You didn't bleed last time."

"It feels so good, though," the redhead purred, shutting his eyes.

"It doesn't hurt?"

"A little bit."

"Then they aren't sharp enough," Ken growled, getting to his feet and standing over Daisuke, his feet on either side of Daisuke's waist. Daisuke grinned up at him playfully, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It's over already?"

Ken stepped over his head to walk to the fridge. "I'm going to check on my animal."

Daisuke tilted his head back to watch him walk away, upside down. He slowly turned to lie on his side, groaning and pawing at the floor. 

Ken had left him unsatisfied like that the past few days. It had annoyed him immensely. He wondered if it was Ken's new mind game. He slowly rose from the floor and shuffled towards the window, peering out through the small crack that had formed after that blind had been lifted so often. There was nothing going on outside; the only thing he could see was the pitch black, opaque dark. He narrowed his eyes when he saw movement in one of the shadows. A woman was moving under a street lamp, heading in the opposite direction, down the sidewalk. 

He recognized her as their neighbor, Mrs. Tsukiyono. She was probably headed to the drug house down the street. Needing a quick getaway from her life. Perhaps her husband caught her cheating on him? No, she wouldn't get caught. She was too quick for the moron. Why had she married him?

Daisuke grimaced at the thought and turned to walk into the kitchen, where he heard sounds of his psychotic boyfriend entertaining his disturbed mind. 

"What are you doing?" he asked dryly, seating himself beside Ken.

Ken was threading a needle into and out of his skin, circling his palm. Blood was already trickling down his wrist and arm. 

"What does it look like?" Ken asked, sounding happier than usual. 

"You really can't feel pain, can you?" Daisuke asked, watching in morbid interest. He'd always found the vision of blood beautiful. Especially when it coated his beautiful boyfriend.

"Of course I can," Ken snapped, but then calmed down and grinned oddly. "But it feels good."

"Fucking masochist," Daisuke growled at him. He reached a hand out to smack Ken over the head and Ken raised his eyes to glare at Daisuke through locks of his violet-colored hair.

Daisuke stood and walked to the door. "I'm going out."

"When shall I expect you back?"

Daisuke ignored the question, pulling on his black hoodie. He yanked the bottom down over his waist and turned to the door.

"I'll have dinner ready when you get back," Ken called after him, returning his attention to the needle stuck in his flesh.

Daisuke turned to give Ken a last glance and half-grin. "Sorry, Ken, I don't eat human."


	3. Chapter Three

The ground crunched under his long strides. The dead leaves under his feet curled up as if caught in a searing pain when he lifted his foot once again. It was a little cold, and Daisuke was glad for the hoodie encasing his body, for he was wearing a thin, short-sleeved shirt underneath. The crisp air of autumn seemed to taunt him as it pushed him forward while he walked. He was feeling decidedly better out in the open air. The house could get stuffy at times, particularly when night drew near, signaling the coming of brief episodes of insanity for his boyfriend. He didn't like to be around when that was happening, and he knew Ken wouldn't cause serious bodily harm to himself in Daisuke's absence. Ken was more sensible than that. He was slightly insane, but he had great common sense. He might prick himself with needles every so often, but he knew how to wrap his wounds and use disinfectant. 

Daisuke drew nearer to his destination, hearing the small whine of music drifting through the air in the distance. He smiled to himself as he drew closer and was able to recognize the song playing. He opened the door to the restaurant and slipped inside, drawing his hood over his head to shield the side of his face as he moved to sit in a dark corner in the back of the restaurant. 

Once seated comfortably, he drew his hood back and fixed his stare on the blonde at the microphone. A vague smile arched his lips. He let his eyes pass over the blonde's smooth, immaculate hair, pale, picturesque face, deep, impenetrable eyes, full, rosy lips, the elegant curve of his neck, the silken black shirt, the slender, pale hands holding the microphone...

He let his eyes slide shut, now focusing all of his attention on the voice washing over him. The deep, sensual, seductive voice reached out to caress his skin like a lover's fingertips. Every pitch, every note was perfectly in tune. It made him crave more, made him wish that he could call upon that voice to speak to him whenever he wished. He could make the voice say whatever he wanted it to say. He could capture it in a seashell, the way Ursula captured Ariel's voice in that movie, The Little Mermaid. Oh, if only he could.

His eyes opened again and he watched as the blonde lost himself in the singing. That look of passion on his face, highlighting it into something incredible, made him wonder what ran though the boy's mind while he was singing. 

He must be seeing heaven. Heaven behind pale eyelids, hidden behind the clouded vision...

The other band members faded into darkness as the singer became the only thing visible in Daisuke's eyes and mind. He was singing only for him, using that sexy voice to conjure sweet images only visible to Daisuke. He was showing him his heaven. 

Daisuke found himself becoming just as lost in the music as the singer was. He closed his eyes again, breathing unsteadily, raising a hand to touch his own face as the voice embraced him again. This was why he loved this band above all of the others he went to see. This was why he found Yamato to be so interesting, so intriguing, and so exotic. Yamato's was the only voice that could make him feel this way. 

Not even...no, not even Ken's voice could stir him so passionately.

Daisuke opened his eyes and dropped his hand when he realized the singing was over. The band members were thanking people and moving out to the audience, going to talk to friends and family that were watching. Daisuke remained seated, his eyes following the blonde moving through the crowd and occasionally leaning down to hug people. People began to stand and walk to the door, chattering to each other, pulling on jackets and coats to protect themselves against the autumn weather. 

Eventually, he stood, pulling his hood up over his head once again and shoving his hands into his pockets. He made his way along the wall, shoulder brushing against it with every step he took, trying not to be seen or recognized. He kept his eyes down. If he made eye contact with anyone that knew him, he'd be forced to talk to them. He didn't want to talk to anyone. 

Right before he got to the door to exit the restaurant, a hand descended onto his shoulder. He turned around slowly, taking a deep breath. His dark amber eyes met with sapphire blue. 

"Daisuke?" the blonde asked hesitantly.

He nodded. "Yamato."

Yamato removed his hand, his eyes uncertain, as if he didn't know why he'd stopped Daisuke in the first place. Daisuke stared hard at him as Yamato lifted an arm to scratch his neck. 

"Do you want to, uh, go out to eat with me, before you go home?"

"Sure."

Yamato smiled, his face brightening. "Great! Did you come in your car?"

"No. I walked."

"Okay, we can go out to eat, and then I'll drop you off at your house."

"Okay."

Yamato clapped his hands once, grinning. "Well, I'll lead you to my car, then."

Daisuke followed Yamato out of the restaurant. He didn't see the triumphant look on Yamato's face as they walked towards the car. 

~ ~ ~ ~

"So, what made you come to the gig in the first place?" Yamato asked, mouth full of hamburger.

Daisuke looked up at him from the table. He'd been staring at it since they'd gotten there, not even lifting his eyes when he ate his food. 

"I've been to every single one of your gigs for the past three months." 

Yamato's eyebrows shot up. "What? Really? Why?"  


"Your voice entrances me."  


Yamato carefully swallowed the food in his mouth. "My voice what?"

Daisuke brought his elbows up onto the table and laid one hand over the other in the air. He peered over them at Yamato, his eyes dead serious. "I first went to one of your gigs because I'd developed a weird sort of habit of going to watch local bands perform at restaurants, but after I heard your voice for the first time, I couldn't forget it. It never left my mind. You sing with so much passion, it's like you're making love to the music, or the audience, or _something_. It left an incredible impression, and I haven't missed a gig since then."

Yamato's cheeks colored slightly at both the comparison to making love and the shower of compliments.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

Daisuke lowered his eyes again and resumed eating. Yamato felt slightly put out that the red-haired boy had let it drop that easily, but he tried to ignore it and continued eating his own food. Yamato was silent until he thought of something.

"Daisuke, where do you live?" It had just occurred to him that he didn't know _where_ he was going to give Daisuke a ride to when they were done.

Daisuke mumbled out an address that Yamato was just able to catch. Yamato lifted his burger to start eating again, but Daisuke went on.

"I live with my boyfriend."  


Yamato nearly dropped his hamburger onto his lap.

"Your..._boy_friend?"

"Yes." He lifted his eyes and narrowed them slightly. "You don't have a problem with that, do you?"

"No," Yamato said quickly. He scratched his neck nervously. "I just didn't know you were...gay."

"Bisexual," Daisuke corrected, shoving a fry into his mouth like he was totally unfazed by telling someone he hardly knew his sexual preference. 

Yamato waited a few moments to ask another question. "Why do you live with him?"

"My parents kicked me out when they found out I had a boyfriend. Ken's rich aunt offered to lend us one of her houses to live in, and she'd pay the bills for us and everything. She loves Ken, and she'd do anything to help him out. His parents don't care what his preference is, but he moved out anyways, because he can't stand them. I don't know why, though. They've never done anything but love and support him."

Yamato nodded slowly, taking in all of this new information. He couldn't believe Daisuke was actually bisexual. It gave him a small rush of hope, even if the boy did have a boyfriend.

"I'm gay," Yamato blurted out. His eyes widened slightly and he glanced around to make sure no one else had heard him. 

Daisuke lifted his eyes to stare into Yamato's. "Okay..."

"I don't know why I just told you that," Yamato said, smiling timidly.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No, I just haven't found anyone yet." A lie, but Daisuke didn't know that. In truth, Yamato hadn't been able to stop thinking about Daisuke since he'd first seen him in the band hall. He'd had a strange air about him, like he was a puzzle just begging to be solved. Yamato had instantly felt determined to solve it. Now, he wasn't so sure he'd even get the chance to try. 

So sad, too bad. Yamato smiled grimly to himself. 

"Are you done eating?" He lifted his eyes to look at Daisuke. Daisuke was looking at him expectantly, and then his eyes flicked down to eye Yamato's food, which he hadn't touched in a few minutes. 

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I kind of spaced out. I do that a lot."

Daisuke laughed shortly. "Figures."

Yamato threw their trash and followed Daisuke out to the car. He noticed that Daisuke walked with his hands shoved deep into his pockets and his head tilted down. The red-haired boy always walked with his eyes cast towards the ground, as if nothing above that level interested him enough to look at. 

The drive to Daisuke's home was mostly silent, but then Yamato broke it, wanting to know more about this boy. 

"So, what's your boyfriend like? Would I know him?"

Daisuke shook his head. "He goes to a different school. It's a private school or something. You know, one of those special schools for smart kids. He's very smart, but he's crazy." 

"Crazy?" Yamato raised an eyebrow and glanced towards Daisuke. "What do you mean 'crazy'?"

"I mean he's insane, off his rocker, not quite right in his head."  


"Give me an example."

"If you went to my house and opened up the fridge, you would find the frozen remains of what used to be a Scottish terrier."

Yamato's eyebrows shot up. He looked at Daisuke again, and then glanced back at the road. "What?"

Daisuke sighed. "I knew you wouldn't believe me."

"Well, that's kind of hard to believe."

Daisuke grinned and lowered his head even further. "Would you like for me to show you when we get there?"

"No thank you," Yamato replied, scrunching his nose up a bit at the thought. He sighed and shook his hair back from his face. "Okay, so there's a dead, frozen dog in your fridge. What's it doing there, and what relation does it have to your boyfriend being crazy?"

"He put it there, probably while it was still alive, but nearing death. I don't know what he did to it first, but it was hardly recognizable when I first saw it."

"That's just unbelievable. Sorry, but you're right, I don't believe you."

Daisuke crossed his arms tighter over his chest, staring hard out the window. "Well, then don't."

Yamato glanced at him yet again and sighed. He resisted the urge to reach out and touch Daisuke. 

"Can you blame me for not believing you?"

Daisuke didn't reply, only shaking his head slightly. He suddenly lifted his arm to point out the window. 

"Turn right here."

Yamato followed his directions until he pulled up in front of Daisuke's current house. He left the car running as he shifted gears into Park and turned to face Daisuke. He reached out to stop Daisuke from exiting the car. The other boy halted in his actions as soon as the blonde's fingers brushed his skin. He turned to stare at him, eyes narrowed in suspicion. 

"I'm sorry if I upset you," Yamato said softly.

Daisuke smiled at him, though it looked fake. "Don't worry about it. You didn't."

He was about to turn to the car door again when Yamato's hand grabbed him again, this time more urgently. Daisuke sighed and shifted his body to turn completely towards Yamato. He bit back any comment he had been about to make when he saw concern etched into the blue eyes. 

"This crazy boyfriend of yours...he doesn't hurt you, does he? He sounds dangerous."

Daisuke looked surprised for a second before he laughed faintly. "He's only dangerous if you're an animal." 

Yamato frowned to himself. "You didn't answer my question."

Daisuke stopped laughing and his smile grew weak and forced. "I know." 

Yamato's mouth opened to respond to that, but before he knew it, with lightning-fast reflexes, Daisuke threw open the car door and slammed it shut behind him, walking quickly towards the dark house. 


	4. Chapter Four

A/N: See? I am working on finishing what I started!

Punk Matt: Okay, okay. Disclaimer for this chapter is the same as before. 

There's more of Yamato shamelessly flirting with poor, confused Daisuke. More Daisuke-angst. How I love it. . .

Daisuke stared out the window, chewing absentmindedly on his gum, arms crossed, earphones providing him with his favorite getaway in life. The music pounded in his ears and his head, numbing the intensity of any other unpleasant things inside of his head. It wasn't able to completely wipe away the twisted imagery and the bad thoughts, but he was working on it. 

Outside, the sun was shining. Daisuke thought it ought to be raining, because he preferred rain to sunshine. Considering the type of person he was, this wasn't too surprising. He looked back down at the drawing on his desk. His hand was still poised, pencil held carefully, over the paper. He moved it to get a better look. 

On the paper were several little sketches. A few overlapped others, and there were words scribbled next to or circling around certain pictures. The ones that stood out the most to him were the little angel and demon squatting next to the large, skeletal Cheshire cat. The angel had long hair and wide, beautiful eyes. Neither the hair nor the eyes were colored in. The demon had hair so darkly colored with pencil that it could pass as inky black, with equally black eyes. 

Above the angel, small words were written: WHY ISHIDA? 

There was nothing written around or near the demon. 

The song on the CD player ended and Daisuke heard a faint clicking sound as it started over again. He'd had it on repeat for nearly the entire day. 

His hand moved to let the pencil tip rest just above the picture of the demon. It stayed there for a few seconds and then moved away again as Daisuke dropped the pencil next to his notebook and slid down in his seat, tilting his head back. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly through his mouth, his lips coming forward as if he were blowing cigarette smoke out. He leant his head forward again and reached a hand up to rest over his forehead. The silver snake ring on his right hand felt cool against his flesh. 

"Daisuke?"

He lowered his hand from his forehead and his eyes shifted up to look at the speaker, face blank. His mouth was still slightly open, and he hadn't bothered to lift his head to look up, so he seemed to be peering up through his bangs in a sort of creepy way. The one who had spoken to him visibly gulped. 

The girl held a paper out in her hand and he noticed it was shaking slightly. He snatched it away and she jumped a little, taking a step back.

"Is...is it yours?" she asked hesitantly.

He didn't make any sign of having heard her over the music, opening his binder and sliding the paper into the inside pocket. She took it as a yes and quickly walked away to continue passing out the papers. 

He didn't hear the bell ringing for lunch, but he saw his classmates standing up as one and heading towards the door, so he got up and followed them. 

He bypassed the cafeteria and headed straight for one of the side doors. 

Sitting on a bench in the shade just outside of the school, Daisuke carefully took his CD player out of his large front pocket. He pushed the button to take the song off of repeat and scanned the next few to find a different song. He'd decided he could move on from that song now. 

He set the CD player down on his lap and looked over at the row of trees nearby. He was feeling calmer than usual that day. He enjoyed the calm while it lasted, tilting his head back and closing his eyes to listen to the slight rustling of the wind through the tree branches. The music changed as the song did, and now, instead of a hard, fast rock song, a slow, soothing instrumental played in his ears. He hadn't heard this kind of music in a long time. Lately, he'd depended on the harsh heavy metal that made up most of Ken's music library to get him through each day. This was the first time in a long time that Daisuke had felt relaxed enough to want to listen to the rest of the CD. 

He suddenly felt a presence and his eyes shot open to stare into clear blue. He pressed himself back against the bench, reaching up to pull his earphones out. He narrowed his eyes at the blonde sitting down beside him.

"Don't startle me like that," Daisuke grumbled.

Yamato laughed and turned to smile at him. "What're you doing out here?"

"What're _you_ doing out here?"

"I asked you first."

Daisuke sighed. "Well, I was trying to get away from everyone and relax out here, before you came along and ruined the calm I was getting into."

"And I came out here because I recognized the back of your head and saw you were all alone."

"I was all alone for a reason."

"Which would be...?"  


"Didn't you hear anything I just said?" Daisuke snapped.

Yamato held his hands up, one holding two fingers up in the peace sign. "Hey, I didn't mean to put you in a bad mood or anything. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

Daisuke sighed and shifted to try and get comfortable again, seeing he wasn't going to be able to shake the blonde off so easily. 

"I was doing just fine."

"And now?"

"Now I want to go back to doing just fine, if you don't mind."

"Of course I don't mind."  


Daisuke stared at him as the blonde made no move to leave. Yamato continued to smile at him, not even blinking. He just couldn't take a hint.

"I want to be alone," Daisuke said bluntly. 

"Well, that's too bad, since I'm here, and I don't plan on leaving any time soon."

"Why are you doing this?"

"What, annoying you by sticking around even though it's clear you want me to disappear?" Yamato laughed. "Well, yesterday night you told me something that no one had ever told me before. It stuck with me."

"What?"

"You said my voice, and this is a direct quote, entranced you. You said you couldn't forget my voice, and it sounded like I was making love to the music or the audience." 

"Yeah, I did say that," Daisuke agreed, remembering their conversation. 

"Do you still feel that way?"

Daisuke nodded, picking at the sleeve of his dark, hooded sweatshirt. Yamato leaned back to take a better look at him. He looked very thin. 

"Do you always skip lunch?"  


Daisuke looked up at him. "I don't like school food."

"But you eat outside of school, right?"

"Of course I do." Daisuke narrowed his eyes. "I'm not anorexic or bulimic or anything. I eat healthily. I'm not that screwed up."

Yamato looked a little guilty and lowered his eyes. "Sorry. I didn't mean it to sound that way."

Daisuke studied him and saw the boy was being honest. "It's okay. Sorry I've been snapping at you. I haven't been having the best of days."

Yamato smiled and brushed his own bangs out of his face. "Sorry to hear it. I could try to cheer you up, if you want."

"You don't have to," Daisuke said quietly, looking down again. 

"Can you hold eye contact with a person for more than a few seconds, or is it some type of weird disorder?"

Daisuke looked up at him, his expression one of surprise. He hadn't realized he'd been staring at the floor for most of their conversation. 

"Sorry."

"Stop apologizing! You aren't doing anything wrong."

"You're apologizing a lot, too."

Yamato smiled. "Well then, let's both stop apologizing."

Daisuke offered the smallest of smiles. "Okay." 

Yamato threw his arms into the air. "There it is! You've finally smiled! Well, sort of."

Daisuke frowned again. "What?"

"You haven't smiled once all day. It's even made _me_ sad."

"Are you stalking me or something? How would you know if I've smiled or not?"

"I haven't been stalking you. I've just been...watching you closely."

"Yeah, that makes me feel so much less paranoid."

Yamato laughed and rolled his eyes at the younger boy. He reached out and ruffled Daisuke's hair, making the young spiky-haired redhead pout at him. 

"You're short."

"What?" Daisuke asked in exasperation. 

Yamato caught the tone of voice and laughed again. The bell rang to tell all students to head back to class and Yamato stood, stretching his arms. He looked back down at Daisuke. 

"Want to do something after school today?"

Daisuke raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

"I don't know. Go out for ice cream or something?"

"Go out for what?" Daisuke stared at him. 

"Ice cream. You know, the cold, yummy stuff?"

"I know what ice cream is," Daisuke growled. 

Yamato rolled his eyes. "So, do you want to?"

Daisuke looked thoughtful for awhile, then sighed. "Well, you're probably going to bug me if I don't. I guess I can."

Yamato brightened. "Great! Just meet me in the front of the school later on today."

"Okay," Daisuke said, sighing and feeling a smile curve his lips. "See you later then, Yamato."

Yamato grinned widely and pointed a finger at Daisuke's chest. "You said my name."

Daisuke gave him an odd look, but before he could reply, Yamato began walking off, waving back at him and then turning to rush to his class. 

Daisuke shook his head as he watched the blonde disappear into the school. He glanced down at his CD player, sighed, and switched the song back to the one he'd had on repeat for most of the day. He found the Repeat button again and pressed it, put it back into his pocket, and walked back into the school.


	5. Chapter Five

A/N: And there you go, I've updated the two stories that you all seem to want the most. I don't know how good this chapter is, but I'm somewhat happy with it. Oh, and sorry for all you Yamasuke lovers, but there's a bit of Taito at the very end of the chapter. (All will be explained, don't you worry. And yes, it's a one-time thing. . .you probably won't see it again in this story.) 

Disclaimer: Same as before, people. Oh yeah, don't own the song "Passenger." 

Warnings: Same; some boys kissing other boys : Kensuke, Taito, and Yamasuke (no, there's no Yamasuke kissing yet, sorry.) 

__

I can't believe I agreed to do this, Daisuke thought, leaning back against the brick wall of the side of the school. 

People passed him by, some sending him odd glances or mean looks. He ignored them all, preferring to avert his attention to the blade of grass he was busy shredding. 

__

This feels all wrong. I shouldn't be spending time with him; I should be going home and making sure Ken survived through the day.

"Daisuke!"

He sighed upon hearing the familiar voice and lifted his gaze to the blonde calling out the passenger window. 

The drive to the ice cream parlor was spent in silence, pointless one-sided conversation on Yamato's part, and the noise coming from the radio that was more static than music. Yamato tried in vain once again to get a clear signal on a radio station. Daisuke reached over and turned it off.

Yamato pulled back to his side of the car again, frowning towards Daisuke. The redhead continued to stare out his window dispassionately.

The car eased into a parking space. Or rather, the car drove up the line separating two parking spaces. 

"Oops," Yamato said, grinning, after getting out of the car and seeing his mistake. "I just can't park this stupid thing right."

"Then why do you drive it?" Daisuke asked the floor.

"I don't know," Yamato admitted. "Just to have something to use to get out of the house, I suppose."

Daisuke grunted and walked past him into the parlor. "I don't have any money. You're paying for the both of us."

"What?" Yamato asked, his voice going into a whine.

"Hey, you offered to bring me here," Daisuke said over his shoulder, eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, you're right," Yamato sighed. "Okay, so I'll pay a bit more than I planned, no problem. I have enough."

He looked up from his wallet and saw he was talking to thin air. He rushed into the ice cream parlor to join Daisuke and make sure he wasn't ordering anything too expensive. 

~ ~ ~ ~

"Thanks for the ice cream," Daisuke said quietly, in a more polite tone than he'd been using all day. 

"You're nicer when you're fed, you know," Yamato said.

Daisuke looked up, looking slightly confused or surprised. "What?"

"I should buy you ice cream more often. You look prettier when you aren't being mean."

Daisuke cast his eyes down again, blushing slightly. "Quit doing that, okay?"

"What, flirting? Why?"

Daisuke looked away, the faint blush still staining his cheeks.

"Oh, Dai, it's not like he's watching us or can hear us or anything."

"I know, it just . . .doesn't feel right."

"Geez, he has a hold on you even when you aren't in the same part of the city."

"Are you saying he controls me?" Daisuke asked, his head snapping back around to allow a glare at Yamato.

"That's _exactly_ what I'm saying," Yamato said dryly, though truthfully.

"Fuck you," Daisuke hissed. He moved to leave but Yamato reached across the table to grab his arm. 

Daisuke hissed again at the physical contact.

"Hey, I'm your ride, remember?" 

"I can hitch."

"Oh, yeah, great idea, genius. Just go and get picked up by a serial killer."

"You watch too much television."

"And you don't watch any at all."

Daisuke narrowed his eyes. Yamato gave him an annoyingly knowing look.

"Take me home," the redhead ordered

.

Yamato held his hands up. "Okay, fine, I will. I was just trying to help, you know."

Daisuke got up and left the table to begin walking back out to the parking lot. 

Yamato grumbled at all of the trash the redhead left behind for him to pick up and hurriedly carried it all to the trash can, dumping it in and rushing to catch up to the redhead before he got any bright ideas and started trying to hitch a ride. 

As he drove up to Daisuke's dark house, he turned to the redhead.

"Hey, I have a gig tonight at Lizard's. You should go check it out."

Daisuke turned to give him a searing look. "I'll think about it," he said, his voice nearly a whisper.

Yamato winced as Daisuke slammed his car door. He sighed. _Must you break **everything** in your way, Daisuke?_

~ ~ ~ ~

Daisuke sighed loudly, sliding back down the front door, feeling his shirt ride up and expose his bare back to the cool surface of the door. He felt a small shiver pass through his body. 

__

What the **hell** is that feeling I get when I'm around him?

He opened his eyes, staring at his legs sprawled out on the floor before him. 

He always felt confused when he was around Yamato. He hated being confused. It infuriated him, not knowing why he was feeling that way. It caused him to snap at the poor blonde a bit more than he probably should. When he was with the pretty boy, his insides felt hot and twisted. Everything the blonde did bothered him. Every time the boy moved, it made Daisuke twitch involuntarily. Sometimes, he actually wanted to reach out and touch Yamato, as if suspicious about the boy actually existing and standing before him. 

"Daisuke?" a soft, but strained voice called from the kitchen. 

Daisuke stood and walked to the kitchen, his heart lightening slightly at hearing that voice calling his name. He turned the corner and peered at the boy standing at the island in the middle of the kitchen, reaching into a white and red cardboard box. 

"Want pizza? I ordered some for us. I wanted to surprise you." Ken smiled, lifting a steaming piece of the pizza in his hand and taking a bite off the end. 

"Sorry, Ken, I just ate," Daisuke replied, smiling apologetically at his boyfriend. 

"Really? What did you eat?" Ken asked curiously, mouth full of pizza.

"Ice cream."

"How did you get to the ice cream parlor from the school? It's on the other side of the city," Ken said, looking confused. 

"I got a ride with Yamato. You know, the guy I told you about, that sings in a band?"  


"Oh." Ken's expression darkened. "I don't like him."

"Why not?"

"He wants to fuck you."

Daisuke's eyes widened. "What?!"

"I won't let him take you away from me."

Daisuke sighed, lowering his head to lean his forehead against the kitchen counter. 

"Ken, why do you have to be jealous of everyone I talk to? No one is taking me away from you."

Ken's eyes narrowed. He closed the pizza box and opened the refrigerator to shove it in. Daisuke gagged when the foul smell of decaying animal flesh wafted from the fridge and filled his nose. 

"You're leaving the pizza in there?" Daisuke asked, making a disgusted face. "It's going to reek and taste horrible when you take it out again."

"Don't try to change the fucking subject," Ken growled. "I don't want you to see this Yamato again."

Daisuke whined, "Ken, I don't have any friends because you get jealous of all of them and forbid me from seeing or talking to anyone! The only friend I have or even person I know is you!"

"Daisuke," Ken said, softening his voice and looking more sincere, "it's better this way, trust me."

He walked towards Daisuke and stood in front of him. He wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, pulling him close and burying his face in his soft hair. 

"I just don't want to lose you."

Daisuke felt himself softening and wrapped his arms around Ken's waist, leaning his head against the taller boy's shoulder. He nuzzled Ken's neck with his nose. 

"I know, but you don't have anything to worry about. I won't leave you. No one can make me leave you."

Daisuke cringed when he felt Ken's hands driving through his hair and gripping chunks of it in his fists, tugging slightly. He felt his head being pulled back and found himself staring into Ken's dark eyes. Ken smiled at the helpless look in his boyfriend's eyes and leant his head down to claim the boy's lips in a passionate kiss. 

He pulled away after a minute, breathless and smiling a predatory smile, loving the look of the prey caught in his claws. 

"Good boy."

~ ~ ~ ~

The night invigorated him. He always felt more relaxed during the nighttime. It suited his soul finer than the blistering, skin-tanning rays of the sun. When he walked the streets at night, the alley cats bowed as he sauntered by. He owned the streets while the moon was up. 

However, as indestructible as the night air made him feel, he couldn't help but let a distressing thought rise in his mind.

__

Ken's going to be so mad when he finds out I came here.

He practically leapt through the club door, as if afraid the sidewalk was on the verge of turning into lava. 

He made his way to the back, sitting in his usual seat, and only then did he look upon the stage. 

He was surprised to see that there was one more person than usual onstage. A brunette gripped a second microphone stand in his hand, talking to Yamato and laughing about something. Daisuke wondered if this one could sing half as good as Yamato could. 

"Okay, we're about ready to begin," Yamato said into the microphone, addressing the audience. "As you can see, we have a guest singer tonight. Everyone, I would like to introduce my good friend, Taichi Yagami, who will be helping me with some of the vocals tonight."

Everyone cheered in greeting as Taichi held up a hand to wave at the audience, flashing a grin. 

Daisuke sat up straighter in his seat, realizing he recognized that face. He was the captain of the soccer team at the high school. 

__

He sings? Daisuke thought, surprise showing clearly on his features.

As the concert progressed, Daisuke saw - or rather, heard - that Taichi truly was a good singer. Not nearly as good as Yamato, but pretty decent. His voice blended nicely with Yamato's when they sang together. He also noticed, grudgingly, that the two kept giving each other looks during the songs they sang together. It was almost as if they were more than just singing partners. Daisuke felt a slow, burning feeling start in the pit of his stomach, feeling growing animosity towards the brunette onstage.

They began to sing one of Daisuke's favorite songs, though they had never played the song before. Daisuke thought it might be because it was a duet and they had never had a second singer handy before. "Passenger" by the Deftones began pounding through the speakers in front of the restaurant/bar. 

Yamato sang Chino Moreno's part, making his voice sound just as haunting and hollow as the original singer's voice. Taichi sang Maynard's part, his voice softening and creating an equally dark atmosphere with his tone. Daisuke felt a small chill run up his spine, enjoying every second more and more as they got into the song, no longer thinking about how close the two singers were standing now. 

As the song came to a close, Daisuke's attention was brought back to the interaction on the stage rather forcibly as the taller of the two singers drew the second close to lay a rather passionate kiss on his lips. 

Daisuke's eyes and facial expression darkened considerably as he watched the brunette let the blonde go, staring into his eyes for a lingering second as the audience erupted into applause. The air of his good mood left the room as quickly as the song had invited it in. 


	6. Chapter Six

A/N: Sorry I've been so lazy lately...here's another chapter for you guys to munch on. 

Disclaimer: Same as ever. Don't own Digimon or the characters I use. 

Daisuke walked home with a kind of anger that he hadn't felt in a long time. He walked around angry about something or another most of the time, but this was a different kind of anger. He wasn't used to feeling this type of anger, and so didn't quite know what to make of it. 

Daisuke was terribly, unmistakably jealous. 

After the music had stopped playing, Daisuke had been quick to leave the restaurant. He didn't think Yamato had seen him exit, because he hadn't heard anyone calling him back, and no one had followed him out of the restaurant. 

__

Of course he didn't see me. He was too busy grinning at that stupid, brainless idiot. 

It wasn't more than a few seconds after walking through the front door that Ken ran out from the kitchen to the living room to greet Daisuke. 

"Where in the world have you been?" Ken asked breathlessly.

"I'm sorry, Ken. I forgot to tell you I was leaving. I just dropped by your aunt's to tell her we got the phone bill already. She kept me there for dinner."

They took any bills they received to Ken's aunt for her to pay. They had indeed gotten the phone bill, but Daisuke had run by Ken's aunt's house the day before to drop it off and had forgotten to tell Ken about it that evening. Daisuke had remembered about it that morning and had come to the decision to use it as an excuse if he did go to Yamato's gig. 

"Oh. Well, while you were out, I was thinking about how I had screamed at you earlier and how wrong I was for not trusting you around Yamato. I wanted to make it up to you, so I went out and got you a little present."

Daisuke's eyes lit up with excitement and then hazed over in affection for his boyfriend. 

"Oh, Ken, you shouldn't have."

"Yeah, well, I was a jerk."

Daisuke blushed slightly. Ken rarely ever bought anything for him, and when he did get him gifts, it was always for a special occasion, such as Christmas or his birthday.

Ken smiled and ran to the garage. "I'll just go and get it. Turn around and close your eyes. Don't you dare peek, either."

Daisuke obediently turned around and shut his eyes, smiling in anticipation.

Something furry that wiggled around was soon placed into his arms. He opened his eyes and gasped happily. He held a golden Labrador retriever puppy in his arms.

"Ken, it's adorable!" he said, laughter in his voice. He held the puppy close to himself and gently stroked it's head. "Hey, little guy. Where did Ken find you, huh?"

"I went to the pound. It was the nicest-looking dog they had. They said he's very healthy, too. He already has his shots and everything."

"I thought you hated pets," Daisuke said, giving Ken a confused look.

"I do," Ken said, his smile faltering slightly, "but as long as it doesn't bother me or anything, it should be fine. He stays in the backyard, though. I won't let him be inside at all."

"I won't bring him inside, don't worry," Daisuke replied, already walking to the back door to take it into the backyard. 

Daisuke remained outside until it was quite dark, playing with the puppy and holding it in his arms. He had completely forgotten about how upset he had been on the way home. 

"I won't let Ken chop you up, so don't worry about that," Daisuke reassured the puppy, laughing slightly. "This is one animal I will not let Ken hurt."

~ ~ ~ ~

"This is the last time I'm going to put up with you."

Daisuke kept his eyes trained on the plant in the corner of the office. He kept his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed. He didn't want anything this man had to say to him to affect him. 

"You've walked these school halls for the last time, Motomiya. I won't tolerate your bad behavior any longer. I'm sure all of your teachers will be glad to be rid of you, anyways."

He let his eyes drift shut as he blocked out the voice speaking to him.

He could only hear snippets of the lecture now. 

"Can't believe...stooped this low...never before...repair all of the damages...completely trashed...buy new computers for the lab..."

"Are we done yet?" Daisuke cut in.

The principal's face turned even redder, if possible. "Don't you feel any remorse after what you've done?"

"Not really," the boy replied boredly. "I mean, I regret not doing this sooner, and not thinking up a better way to get myself kicked out of school, but-"

"Mr. Motomiya, out of my school, now! I declare you officially expelled from this institution!"

"Institution is right. _Mental_ institution," Daisuke grumbled.

Before he knew it, he was being dragged out of the office and out the doors of Odaiba High School. Once outside, he turned to the principal and raised an eyebrow.

"Can't I at least empty out my locker first?"

The principal reluctantly dragged him back inside.

Once he had gathered his belongings in his backpack and shut the now bare locker, he walked out of the double glass doors of the high school for the very last time, his backpack slung over one shoulder and a smirk simultaneously lightening up and darkening his appearance. 

~ ~ ~ ~

"Hey," a soft voice called. 

Daisuke looked around himself for the source of the voice. He saw the boy leaning against the side of the building, hands shoved into his pockets, giving him a curious look. 

"Where are you going?" Yamato asked.

Daisuke narrowed his eyes and turned to continue walking, choosing to ignore the other. He hadn't gotten far when a hand clamped down onto his shoulder and whirled him around. 

"I was talking to you," Yamato said calmly, smiling gently and staring into Daisuke's eyes as he tried to search for any hint of emotion in them. 

"I'm going home," Daisuke said shortly.

"Why?"  


"I have just been expelled."

Yamato's eyebrows shot up. "What did you do this time?"

"I just messed the computer lab up."

"That was you?" Yamato looked impressed. "'Messed up' is somewhat of an understatement. You got the axe from the fire alarm thing near the front office and impaled the monitors of the computers in the lab."

"I was mad," Daisuke explained.

Yamato blinked. "You were mad," he repeated. "What the heck made you that mad?"

"My teachers. They hate me. They treat me like crap. I get fed up with it sometimes."

"Ever heard of anger-management, Daisuke? I could find you some classes."

Daisuke turned around and began walking away again. Yamato caught up and began walking beside him.

"Go away," Daisuke told him.

"I don't think so," Yamato replied, smiling to himself. 

"I'm angry with you."

"Why?" 

"I went to your gig."

Yamato blinked and looked up at the sky, trying to remember anything he could have done or sung that would have offended Daisuke.

"What did I do?"

"Did anyone videotape that kiss? I didn't have a good view of it from where I was sitting. I couldn't quite see exactly what his tongue was doing inside your mouth. I'd just love to see it again." 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Yamato said, turning to stand in front of Daisuke and resting his hands on the smaller boy's shoulders. "You saw the kiss?"

"Yes, I saw the kiss," Daisuke snapped. "What the hell _was_ that, anyways?"

"Fanservice," Yamato said, smiling. "Gets them every time."

"Yeah, well, you sure got me," Daisuke grumbled, slapping Yamato's hands off of his shoulders. 

"Daisuke, it's just part of the show. Taichi is only a friend. He happens to be a great singer and performer. He wanted to do a show with me, so I said okay. We decided to throw in that ending kiss to see if it garnered us a larger audience next time."

"Well, I wish you luck with your garnering," Daisuke said sarcastically.

"I can't believe it made you so jealous," Yamato said, grinning as if it amused him greatly.

"Who's jealous?" Daisuke snapped. 

Yamato gave him a pointed look and he looked away. 

"Daisuke, that kiss meant nothing to me, okay?" Yamato said gently. "Anyways, Taichi is taken."

"Did his boyfriend see that kiss?"

"Yes, his _girl_friend did. She was there, at the gig. She's completely fine with it. She knows it's all a part of the show."

"He isn't gay?"

"No, Taichi isn't."

"And he kissed you?"

"He's bisexual, Daisuke. You can like both genders, you know."

"I know that. I'm bisexual, remember?"

"Of course I remember." Yamato smiled charmingly. "I remember everything about you."

Daisuke sighed and returned his gaze to the ground. He heard Yamato groan. 

"Will you please get over the kiss? If it'll make you feel any better, I'll kiss you. In fact, I'll kiss you twice, so I'll have kissed you more than I've kissed Taichi."

"Yes." Daisuke lifted his head and stared hard at Yamato. "Yes, I think you owe me that."

"Fine," Yamato said, smirking.

"Fine."

Yamato stepped closer to Daisuke and lifted his arms to wrap around Daisuke's waist. Daisuke instinctively took a step back.

Yamato grinned as he stared into Daisuke's eyes.

"I knew it. I knew you were just talking out of your ass. You can't kiss me. You won't let yourself kiss me, because then you'd feel too guilty about cheating on Ken or whatever."

"Oh yeah?" Daisuke asked, narrowing his eyes once again. "Is that how you think it is? Do you think you have me all figured out, Yamato?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do," Yamato replied.

Daisuke stepped forward, looking determined, and grabbed Yamato around the neck. He pulled him down to his level and shut his eyes as he firmly pressed his lips to Yamato's in a hard kiss. He immediately let go and stumbled back, eyes wide. He touched his mouth and looked as if he were ashamed.

Yamato had remained stone-faced throughout the whole thing. He gazed upon the shame written on Daisuke's face and turned away.

"Go home, Daisuke. Ken will be angry if you don't go straight home."

Forgetting that Ken would still be in school at that time, and so he wouldn't know that Daisuke had taken more than enough time is needed to get home, Daisuke turned and ran in the direction of his house, trying to get as far away from the blonde as fast as he could. 


	7. Chapter Seven

A/N: I think this is the longest chapter yet. Well, sit back and enjoy.

Daisuke stared morosely off into space as he scratched the puppy behind an ear. He was quietly trying to erase any feelings he bore towards the blonde boy. He didn't want to betray Ken any more. He decided he would stop going to Yamato's gigs. It hurt him when he thought of how many times he had considered being unfaithful to Ken with Yamato. He didn't want those thoughts anymore. He didn't want to want Yamato anymore. 

His brow scrunched up as he felt something rough underneath his fingertips. He bowed his head to check the puppy's head for whatever it was he had felt. He noticed a scar close to the collar around the puppy's neck. He carefully brushed the fur out of the way and saw that the scar wasn't old. 

"What happened to you, puppy?" Daisuke asked quietly. 

He suddenly realized the scar on its neck wasn't the only one. He brought his face closer to the puppy as he ran a hand over its back. There seemed to be a bump on it, and there were other small scars on the puppy's back. 

Daisuke frowned and quickly began searching the entire area of the puppy's body for other wounds. As he found more, he felt his eyes growing hotter and his vision becoming blurry. His breathing became irregular as his hands shook slightly, sliding over the puppy, feeling the scars under his fingertips that he'd never noticed before. 

The puppy lifted its head and whimpered when he brushed his fingers over a particularly sensitive scar, and Daisuke saw that its eyes were watery in a way that shouldn't have been normal for such a young puppy. Without even giving his actions a second thought, he lifted the puppy in his arms, cringing when the puppy whimpered, and began walking in the direction of the busy part of the city in hopes of finding a veterinarian. 

~ ~ ~ ~

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you this, but it seems as if your puppy has been abused. Are there any hostile dogs around where you live? Perhaps strays hanging around your house?"  


"None that I've seen," Daisuke replied, petting the puppy gently so it wouldn't press down on any scars. 

__

Do hostile boyfriends count?

"Is it possible for you to move the dog inside?"

"No, my friend doesn't want to have him inside."

"Well, I suggest you keep a close watch on this puppy, and if you can, you could maybe keep it enclosed in a fenced-in area where it would be safe from outside attackers."

"I already have a fence around my backyard."

The vet gave Daisuke a slightly confused look. "Oh. Uh...maybe stray dogs come up to the fence and your puppy goes up to them out of curiosity. They could be scratching him through the fence. I don't see how he could get so scratched all over his body that way, though. Are there any small children around your house that could be messing with the puppy?"

"No," Daisuke said slowly. "No one visits us. I don't think the neighborhood kids come near our house."

__

They're too scared of the people living inside of it.

"I don't know what to tell you, then. I could help disinfect the wounds, but the best advice I suppose I have to give you is to take care of the puppy as best as you can while home. You could keep checking on it from any windows in your house."

"Thank you," Daisuke said glumly. He waited until the veterinarian took care of the puppy's wounds and then carefully began carrying it home. 

__

He said he wouldn't hurt you. I failed to protect you from him. I guess it's my fault.

Daisuke opened the gate to go into the backyard and carefully put the puppy back down onto the ground. He watched as it quickly ran away from him and ran to a corner of the house, where it lay down and curled up into itself, shivering slightly. Daisuke lifted his eyes to glare at the house. Ken must have gotten home by now. 

He went through the door and entered the house, looking around. He heard shuffling around in the kitchen and began walking towards it, wondering why his boyfriend loved to hang around that room so much. He found Ken closing the freezer door and narrowly missed catching a glimpse of whatever it was he had stuffed in there. 

"Found something new to play with?"  


Ken turned around, eyes wide. "Daisuke? What are you doing home? You get out of school later than I do."

"I finally got kicked out. Aren't you proud of me?"  


Daisuke walked to the kitchen table and pulled the chair out to sit on it. Ken stared at Daisuke, feeling disbelief. 

"You what?"

"I got expelled. Thrown out of school and all of that."

He began walking closer, taking quick steps, face turning from surprised to angry. "Why would you do that? You were supposed to graduate and go to college, like me. We agreed on this."

"I know, I'm sorry, but I can't take that fucking school anymore. I was going crazy in that place. I couldn't stand it anymore."

"You did it on purpose," Ken said, realization dawning on him. "You got yourself thrown out on purpose."

"Yeah, I did, and I did a rather good job, I think. They'll remember me at that school," Daisuke said, pride showing in his voice just as clearly as bitter resentment. 

"How the fuck could you do this to me?!" Ken shrieked, reaching out and grabbing hold of Daisuke's shirt. He yanked the boy to his feet and Daisuke's face paled. "You were supposed to go to college so we could both get jobs and support ourselves! I can't get a job and support the both of us! Without even a high school degree, you might as well be shit to the working world! No one is ever going to hire you!"

Daisuke tried to wrestle away from Ken's grasp, all pride and bitterness gone, replaced by real, gut-wrenching fear. 

"I'll find a job somehow," Daisuke tried to calm his boyfriend. "I'll hold my end, really! I'll help out any way I can, Ken, I swear!"

"I don't want you to swear, I want you to graduate," Ken snarled. "You're going back to that school."

"They kicked me out, Ken. They won't just take me back," Daisuke tried to explain.

"And that's all your fault!" Ken screamed as he began pounding his fists down onto Daisuke while the red-haired boy tried his best to defend himself, holding his arms over his head. 

"I'm sorry, Ken. I'm so sorry," Daisuke tried to tell him, backing away from his furious boyfriend. "I'll go to another school, then. I will. Just watch me, I'll graduate with fucking honors if you want me to!"

Daisuke realized he wasn't being hit any longer and risked a glance through his arms. Ken was trying to calm himself, hands over his forehead, teeth clenched.

"You'd better do just that, Daisuke. You know what I'll do if you don't."

Daisuke sighed as Ken began stalking away. He hadn't even had the chance to bring up the puppy. He didn't want to risk getting the boy angry again, not wanting to be hit anymore. He turned and ran for the back door, flinging it open, and closed the door behind himself as quickly as he could. He searched through the backyard until he found the puppy, whimpering in his sleep, along the side of the house. He lowered himself onto the floor and closed his eyes, letting the pain wash over him.

Abused puppy and abused boy fell asleep side by side. 

~ ~ ~ ~

Daisuke sighed as he walked down to the convenient store. It was nighttime again, which meant he had to be anywhere but home. He didn't know when it had started, this unspoken agreement that Ken had to be alone at night hours and Daisuke could only return once he was sure Ken would be asleep, which was usually around five in the morning. 

The streets were relatively abandoned, but there were a few night owls walking around on the sidewalks and streets. He finally reached the convenient store and stopped in his steps, eyes wide. He couldn't believe his luck. Sitting on the curb in front of the convenient store, all with various drinks or snacks in their hand, were teenagers that he vaguely recognized from the high school. The one that gave him the most reaction was the blonde leaning back against the wall, talking to a red-haired girl. He considered turning and running like hell before they spotted him, but then remembered he was supposed to start ignoring the blonde, so he wouldn't want to hang around him anymore.

He walked right past the teenagers and into the convenient store, not glancing towards them even once. Yamato recognized him and watched him go in, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. What was Daisuke doing at their favorite hangout so late at night?

"What's with you?" Sora asked, raising an eyebrow at his expression.

"That boy I was telling you about just walked into the store."

"What?" The other eyebrow shot up on the girl's face as she turned to stare through the window of the convenient store. "That cute spiky-haired redhead?"

  


"Yeah, that's him."

"Oh yeah, the troublemaker. He got kicked out, right?"

"Yeah," Yamato responded softly, frowning. He hoped something wasn't wrong at Daisuke's house. Why else would Daisuke want to get out of the house so late at night? He decided to go into the store and ask the boy himself.

He was only mildly surprised when Daisuke completely ignored him. He was used to Daisuke's moods by now, but he hadn't expected the boy to completely brush him off. He didn't even look up to glare his way. Something had to be wrong.

"What's wrong, Daisuke?" Yamato asked again as Daisuke paid for his purchases and began walking out of the store. Yamato kept in step with Daisuke and pulled on his arm, trying to hold him back. Daisuke tried to wrench his arm out of Yamato's grip. "Did Ken do something?"

This time, Daisuke looked at him. "Let me go, Yamato," he said coldly. "I don't want to speak to you."

"What did he do?"

Daisuke narrowed his eyes even more and tried to pull away to continue walking. Yamato saw no choice but to grab the boy around the waist and hoist him into the air. He carried the boy, kicking and screaming, back to the front of the store, where his friends all stared at him. 

As Daisuke's fist connected with his face, he lost his grip on the boy and dropped him. Daisuke cursed as he fell upon the ground.

"Okay, something is definitely wrong with you," Yamato said as he spit blood onto the ground. "You've never actually been physically violent towards me before. What is it?"

"Why the fuck do you care?" Daisuke spat passionately. "Why should it matter to you what happens to me?"

"Because I care about you, and I know something bad is happening in your house. I get worried about you, Daisuke." He saw the surprised look on Daisuke's face. "I'm not stupid, Daisuke. I've noticed the bruises. You didn't punch yourself."

Daisuke looked away, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Why does he hit you?" Yamato asked gently. 

"It's my fault for getting kicked out of the stupid school!" Daisuke cried, turning to him. "I didn't consider how hard Ken's been working to get the best grades so he can graduate and go to the best colleges. He's doing it for _me_. All I've ever done is be a burden to him, and then I go and throw my education down the drain. I'm such a selfish asshole to him."

"Okay, first of all, he's the selfish asshole, not you. Let me finish," Yamato said as Daisuke opened his mouth to argue. "You should go to school for you, not for him. Yes, getting yourself thrown out of school was a stupid thing to do, but everyone makes mistakes! They certainly shouldn't be _beaten up _for them."

"You don't understand, Yamato. I knew you wouldn't. No one does. No one ever sees him when he's being so loving and wonderful to me. Everyone just sees his flaws and hates him. They don't see him like I do. He _loves me_, Yamato, I know he does. He risks so much to be with me and take care of me. He does more for me than anyone else ever has. You just can't understand our love, that's all."

"It isn't love when it involves abuse, Daisuke. Emotional, mental, physical, all forms of abuse are bad. That isn't love, Daisuke. Love is what you wish it could be. You can't change him, no matter what you think. If he hits you now, he'll hit you for the rest of your life, if you let him."  


"No-" Daisuke began.

"Listen to me," Yamato pleaded. "You have to get away from him before he does something even worse. You don't know how many times I've wanted to march into your house, beat the shit out of Ken for hurting you, and carrying you away to a better future. I would, too. Don't think I wouldn't do that. I've been restraining myself, though, because I thought you could save yourself. Now I see you can't. You're too weak, and he has too much control over you. He's brainwashed you."

"You're lying," Daisuke said, voice shaking. "You're lying so you can steal me away from him. Ken was right. You don't want to be my friend, you just want to take me away from him."

"I admit it, I do want to take you away from him, but that's only because I don't want him to hurt you anymore. I want to take you to a better place, but you won't let me, and I can't do it if you won't let me."

"Then you never will, because I'll never let you!" Daisuke cried, hating himself for the tears pooling in his eyes and the feeling in his gut that told him to let Yamato lead him to happiness. He couldn't abandon Ken, he just couldn't. Ken had done too much for him, and he still hadn't paid him back. He loved Ken with all of his heart, and he knew Ken had to love him, too. He just had to.

He turned to run away from Yamato but Yamato saw his movement and began running after him. He caught Daisuke before he could get very far. He saw that the boy was shivering and crying, so he carefully wrapped his arms around the shaking boy, holding him close. Daisuke recognized the warmth and leaned into it, wrapping his arms around Yamato's neck. Yamato sighed in relief when he saw the boy wasn't putting up a fight anymore, rubbing Daisuke's back with his hand comfortingly. 

"Why does it have to be this way?" he heard Daisuke whisper.

"It doesn't," Yamato replied calmly. "If you let me help you, I'll show you what I mean."

Daisuke lifted his eyes to stare into Yamato's. Yamato looked so sincere and hopeful he almost said yes. "You can't stop me from loving Ken."

"I realize that," Yamato replied, stroking Daisuke's hair. "I'm not asking you to. I'm just asking you to help yourself out."

"How do I do that?"

"First, you have to get out of that house."

"No!" Daisuke cried, fighting him once again. Yamato sighed from the loss of peace and tried to calm the boy down again. "I can't leave him, I can't!" 

"Does he hurt you?" Yamato asked over Daisuke's yelling. 

Daisuke stopped struggling, head hung, shoulders shaking. 

"Yes," he said regretfully. "Yes, he does hurt me."

"Don't you want the hurting to stop?"

"Yes, I do."

"Do you want me to take the pain away?"

Daisuke looked into his eyes once again and Yamato saw the hope lying beneath all of the pain and confusion. 

"Yes," Daisuke whispered.

Yamato marveled at how beautiful Daisuke looked right then. His hair was messy and hanging in his face, his eyes were puffy and red, and his expression was one of caution and confusion. His lips were open and soft, and his uneven breathing was somehow sexy. Yamato couldn't help himself as he brushed his fingers over Daisuke's face. Daisuke's eyes closed and he leaned closer into the soft contact. He probably hadn't been touched so gently in a very long time, Yamato guessed. 

He carefully ran a finger over one bruised cheek and Daisuke's breath grew shaky as he hissed faintly. Yamato leaned forward to place a soft kiss on Daisuke's forehead. Daisuke stepped forward to bring their bodies into more contact, now craving the warm touches. Yamato sighed dreamily as he stroked Daisuke's back and kissed the side of his face. He heard the faint pleasant noise coming from Daisuke's throat as he kissed Daisuke's face. 

He finally couldn't hold himself back any longer and he brought his face down to kiss Daisuke's lips. Daisuke seemed to forget where he was and whom he was with, holding Yamato tighter and returning the kiss generously. Yamato, both surprised and excited about the response, deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around the boy's waist. Yamato hadn't imagined kissing Daisuke to be this sweet. He'd always thought it would be a rough kiss, like the one Daisuke had given him back outside of the school. He realized Daisuke had just been nervous, and was glad that Daisuke could kiss like this. As Yamato stroked his skin and licked at the inside of his mouth, Daisuke stopped his soft moaning long enough to remember whom he was kissing. He broke apart rather forcefully, pulling himself out of the blonde's hold. Yamato stared at him, breathing erratically, eyes half-lidded. 

"What's wrong?"

Daisuke shut his eyes hard and covered his mouth with his hands. 

"Not again," Daisuke muttered, muffled by his hands so Yamato couldn't understand him.

"What?" Yamato asked softly, trying to step closer to him again. 

Daisuke took another step back and turned away. He dropped his arms. "I...have to go home."

"Daisuke, please don't," Yamato said earnestly, shaking his head. "Stay here with me, okay? I'll let you sleep over at my house. You don't have to go back there tonight."

"No, I have to go home to Ken," Daisuke insisted, turning to walk away. 

Yamato hurried to walk beside him. "Daisuke, please go home with me instead. I have an extra bedroom, you can sleep in there. Just don't go back home to that house."

"I have to," Daisuke said, though not with as much force as he'd been using earlier. He actually sounded reluctant to say it. 

"Daisuke, I'm begging you," Yamato said, turning to stand in front of him. Daisuke looked up at him, frowning uncertainly. "Please, please go home with me," Yamato repeated. 

"But what if Ken gets mad at me?"

"If he loves you like you say he does, he shouldn't mind you having to sleep over, right? He should trust you, right?"

Daisuke shifted on his feet, feeling uncertain and slightly insecure about sleeping at Yamato's house. At the same time, he felt a strange gut feeling telling him he truly didn't want to go home to his house that night. 

"Okay," Daisuke said so softly Yamato hardly heard him.

Yamato inclined his head. "What?"

Daisuke nodded, eyes shifting as he came to a decision. "Okay, I'll go to your house."

Yamato grinned, nodding. "Good. Yes. I'll take you right now. You're probably tired, huh? I'll go tell the others I'm leaving."

Daisuke lifted his head and turned to where the group of Yamato's friends were standing, looking over at them and talking amongst themselves as if trying to figure out what was going on. He blushed slightly.

"Sorry for pulling you away from your friends."

"It's perfectly alright, Daisuke. They won't mind. I'll just go and say goodbye and I'll take you to my car, okay?"

Daisuke nodded, staring at the floor again. Yamato smiled widely and began trotting off to find his friends. He bid them goodbye and waved off their questions about Daisuke, saying he'd explain later. He began walking back to where Daisuke had been but then frowned, seeing that the boy was gone. 

His gut wrenched as he looked around for the boy frantically. Daisuke hadn't taken off, had he? 

__

Oh no. 

Yamato began jogging instead of walking, looking around and calling Daisuke's name. His heart sunk as he thought he'd probably been tricked. His heart soared again when he heard Daisuke calling out to him from his left. Daisuke stood by his car. The terror that had seized his heart slowly left and warmth flooded back in as he watched Daisuke point at his car, tilting his head to the side inquisitively. 

"This is your car, right?" Daisuke asked.

Yamato took a deep breath and grinned. "Yeah, you remembered. Great. Well, we'd better go."

He unlocked the car and climbed in, breathing a sigh of relief. 

"We'll be there in about ten minutes."  


He smiled when Daisuke automatically leant his head against the car window and shut his eyes, looking tired. He reached a hand out to run through Daisuke's soft hair before turning the car on. 


	8. Chapter Eight

A/N: I'd like to take a moment to thank Burned Vamp for reminding me of my mistake in the last chapter. I suppose I forgot about it. Silly author...okay, I fixed it in this chapter. This is a rather sad chapter. Very angsty atmosphere here. This is a very sad story, isn't it? Hopefully it will get happier later on. 

Daisuke felt numb. It was the only word he could think of to fit his mood. Yamato had taken him to his home and had immediately suggested they get much-needed rest. He had been shown to the guest bedroom and had lain in its bed for a full thirty minutes, gazing up at the ceiling. He hadn't been able to fall asleep, his body being used to keeping itself awake during the length of the night. He had finally grabbed his blanket and brought it out to the front porch, seating himself on a plastic lawn chair and staring at the night sky, blanket wrapping his body up in its security and warmth. 

He tried to think about his situation, but couldn't bring his mind to work properly. No thoughts offered to surface in his mind, instead preferring to stay buried in the depths of his psyche. In this state of mind, he found he could only sit there, numbly observing the passage of the moon in the night sky. 

When a thought finally surfaced in his brain, it startled him, causing him to gasp for breath and grip the arms of the lawn chair he perched upon. 

__

The puppy...I left the puppy in the backyard. 

Tears unexpectedly filled his eyes at the thought of his new, only friend being left alone, vulnerable to the ferocity of Ken's psychosis. He struggled to get to his feet, wincing at the rude awakening to his slumbering, protesting legs. He made his way inside and quickly found Yamato's bedroom, opening the door slowly and with slight reluctance towards waking the blonde up. 

"Yamato?" he called gently.

Yamato immediately stirred in bed, turning around to peer at the boy in the doorway, one eye shut tightly. 

"Daisuke? Is everything okay?" 

"The dog, Yamato...it's still there."

Yamato saw the teartracks on the young boy's face when the moonlight fell across his face, making the tiny rivers gleam in an almost symbolic way. They made this usually hardened, lifeless boy seem much more human, showing weakness so clearly on a face that looked younger in the life-giving light of the moon. Yamato had never seen such emotion pooled in the depths of the boy's eyes.

The beauty of it all brought life to his limbs and his mind, stirring him to his feet. 

"Okay, let me get my jacket on, and you get yours. We'll go rescue this dog of yours."

Daisuke's face brightened and he immediately rushed to find his jacket. Yamato smiled to himself over this new invigoration in Daisuke and he followed the younger one as quickly as his sleepiness allowed. 

~ ~ ~ ~  


Yamato parked well away from the house, turning the ignition and silencing the vehicle. They stole away from the car and crept up the sidewalk, reaching the front yard and quickly creeping to the fence enclosing the backyard. Daisuke frowned when the dog did not run to greet them. He was sure the canine would have heard their footsteps over the grass. 

Daisuke opened the gate quickly, having had experience with opening and closing it, thanking the stars for his reluctance to keep a lock on the gate entrance. 

Yamato and he searched for the puppy, keeping an ear out for any sound of life. Yamato heard Daisuke gasp in the dark and a faint whimpering reached his ears. He rushed to find the redhead and gasped when he took in the sight of Daisuke kneeling over a mound of fur. Daisuke turned to him, and he saw the renewed tears in the boy's eyes. 

"He broke his legs. He's been tortured."

Yamato assumed that the first "he" had been a substitution for Ken's name and frowned, his face growing dark. He was very much against animal abuse, and adored all furry creatures. He aided Daisuke in lifting the dog when he saw that Daisuke was struggling to figure out how to lift the pup without further injuring it. 

Daisuke turned to him with a strange light in his eye. 

"I forgot something inside. I just want to go in and get it. Don't worry, I won't be caught. He's asleep at this time." 

Yamato opened his mouth to argue against the boy going in alone but Daisuke lifted a finger to silence him. Yamato's eyes widened when Daisuke leant forward to press a gentle kiss to his lips. Daisuke's smile lightened up his face amongst the darkness of the night as he pulled away.

"I can do this myself," Daisuke assured him. 

With no further warning, Daisuke turned and fled to the back door of the house, removing a key from under a potted plant and unlocking the door. Yamato sighed as Daisuke's body disappeared into the darkness of the house, turning and carrying the puppy as carefully as he could back to his car. 

Daisuke felt thankful for the many nights he had arrived home later than usual and had to sneak in unnoticed. His footfalls made next to no sound as he crept through the hallways and to the main bathroom. He opened a drawer and felt around inside of it, grinning when his hand touched what he had been searching for. He grasped the object and drew it out, feeling almost entranced as the slivers of moonlight coming in through a nearby window fell across the object and illuminated it. He quickly tucked it away inside of his jacket and closed the drawer, turning and beginning his exit of the dark house. 

He stopped in front of the main bedroom and turned to gaze cautiously at the closed door. Curiosity overcoming him, he turned around and sneaked up to place an ear against the door, listening for any sounds coming from inside. He cursed the fact that Ken was a silent sleeper and had never shown any tendency to snore. 

He shook his head and reminded himself that Yamato was waiting for him outside. Without any other thought about what lay behind the bedroom door, he snuck out of the house through the front door, leaving it unlocked behind himself. 

Yamato waited leaning against the car door. He straightened up when Daisuke came out of the front door. He watched the boy turn to close it as carefully as he could. Daisuke turned back around to smile wearily at the blonde.

"The puppy?"

"He's in the car already. I wrapped him in a small towel."

They got back into the car and drove away as quickly as they could. 

"Do you want to go to the veterinarian?"

Daisuke's face darkened, his face pressed against the window, hand resting against the puppy's brow. He heard the puppy give another low whimper and glanced down at it in time to notice the red foam coming from his mouth. Daisuke shifted his head to peer down at the puppy more closely and saw that the redness in the foam was blood. 

"Its legs aren't the only problem," Daisuke said quietly. "The vet won't help him. He didn't help us any last time we visited him, and he won't now. It's just a waste of money."

Yamato nodded silently. "What do you want to do, then?"

"Let's just take him back home. I know what I want to do with him."

Yamato glanced at Daisuke upon hearing the reluctance and sadness in his tone of voice. Yamato focused his attention back onto the road. 

"Whatever you say, Daisuke."

~ ~ ~ ~

Daisuke cast his saddened, hurt-filled eyes back down upon the puppy laying on the ground. 

"I don't want you to suffer anymore," he whispered. 

He had asked for privacy from Yamato and the blonde had consented, going back into the house to leave the boy alone with his pet. Tears fell once again from Daisuke's eyes and he didn't bother to brush them away, knowing they weren't the last ones for the night. Daisuke retrieved the object he had stolen from the house from his jacket and carefully ran a finger over it. The puppy gave a low, subdued whimper and moved its head slightly over the ground. Blood trickled up its throat and out through its open mouth, dripping onto the dirty ground. 

"I know what he did to you," Daisuke continued quietly. He popped the weapon open and checked for bullets. It was full. He had never used it on anything before. "He probably would have liked to do it to me, too, if I'd let him." Daisuke rolled his eyes at himself, smiling slightly, though not happily. "Of course I'd let him." 

The puppy gave a gurgling sound as it tried to whimper through the blood caking its throat. 

Daisuke sniffled as he shut the weapon and undid the safety catch. He pointed it directly at the puppy's bowed, wet head. Its fur was no longer golden, but instead seemed a more brown color, sweaty and stinking. 

"This is for the best. For both you and me." 

He tightened his hold on the weapon and resolved not to turn away. 

"You're going to a much better place."

His hand shook slightly and he further firmed his grip. 

"I wish you luck, friend. Thank you for everything. Goodbye."

Daisuke pulled the trigger, releasing one bullet into the golden head, far past the need to flinch with his eyes upon hearing the blast and seeing the blood splatter over the floor, covering the blood that his boyfriend had drawn out from the tired body. The color of the blood his bullet had drawn was different from the color of the older blood. He noticed the difference in color with an odd feeling in his gut. Without letting another second in time lapse, he turned and regurgitated all of the ugliness the past few days had left piling inside of him. All of the hatred, rage, injustice, sorrow, and lost faith spilled out of his small body and onto the dirt, staining it an ugly dark color. He wiped his mouth and found his hand was shaking violently, as was the rest of his body, and he silently fell upon his knees and cried, letting the warm gun drop from his hand and onto the tainted ground. 

When he finally gathered up the will to bring himself to his feet again, he went back inside of the house. Yamato immediately rose from his seat at the kitchen table and shifted uncertainly on his feet. Daisuke met his questioning gaze with one that was world-weary and seemed out of place on such a young, sweet face. Yamato strode towards the boy and took him into his arms, letting Daisuke collapse against him and weep for his lost innocence. 

Once Daisuke was able to stand on his own once again, all traces of tears wiped from his face, sorrow gone from his gaze and leaving him with his usual blank look, Yamato went out to the backyard to clean up the mess that was left upon the ground and bury the puppy's body in the backyard. He found the gun and decided to keep it in one of the drawers in his bedroom. When he came back in, he did not find Daisuke in the kitchen. Frowning as his gut clenched, he rushed to the guest bedroom, flipping the light switch on. He smiled and relaxed when he was greeted with the sight of the redhead curled up in the sheets on the bed, sleeping soundly with his head digging into the pillow. Yamato turned the lights back off.

"Goodnight," he whispered to the room. 

He quietly closed the door and went straight to his room to get a few more hours of sleep in before he had to rise to deal with the next day. 


	9. Chapter Nine

A/N: Only about two more chapters to go. Well, the last is going to be more of an epilogue...anyways. This chapter's been finished for a while now, but I never got around to editing and uploading it. Sorry! So sorry! Well, it's here now, so read and enjoy. Hmm...I have a feeling I'm going to be screamed at for the ending of this chapter. ^-^'

Warning: This chapter is...hmm...lime-ey. **People cheer** Yes, we have Yamasuke! 

Daisuke opened his eyes wearily and sighed. He had tried closing the blinds to block the moonlight out, snuggling in the blanket, and putting his pillow over his head, but it was useless. He simply could not fall back asleep. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearing three o' clock. He sighed again and sat up in bed, deciding to go to Yamato's room. 

It had been four days since he had first slept at Yamato's house, and Yamato had somehow managed to convince him to stay there until he had a clear plan in his head about what he wanted to do about his relationship with Ken, and so far, he still didn't have a clue. He wondered to himself how Ken was doing all on his own, and whether or not Ken missed him. He was sure Ken wasn't worried about him. It wasn't the first time Daisuke had disappeared for a few days, with no explanation other than he had needed to get away for a while. Ken probably figured he would show up again pretty soon. 

During those four nights he had slept there, it had been hard for him to adjust. He wasn't used to sleeping alone and in a strange bed. This was why, on the third night, he had decided to crawl into Yamato's bed and ask to sleep there, and Yamato had said that Daisuke could sleep in his bed whenever he wished to. He had been glad that Yamato hadn't tried anything with him that night, instead keeping to his side of the bed and falling asleep with his back to Daisuke, so as not to make the boy uncomfortable. 

He made his way to Yamato's room and carefully opened the door. Yamato seemed to be asleep, though Daisuke couldn't see his face. He closed the door quietly and got into the bed, pulling the blankets over himself and lying down facing Yamato's back. 

He closed his eyes. 

"Daisuke?"

He opened his eyes. 

Yamato turned around to face him, brow furrowed in concern. "Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, I just couldn't sleep. You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not. I told you you're welcome in my room at any time during the night, right?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

"Think nothing of it." Yamato smiled at him and turned back around, giving the boy his privacy. "Goodnight, Daisuke."

"Goodnight," the boy whispered, closing his eyes. 

A few minutes later, Daisuke opened his eyes again, sighing when he found sleep still wasn't coming to his body willingly. He stared at Yamato's back and began studying the boy in front of him. His back was concealed in a black t-shirt and didn't show much, but Daisuke knew what Yamato looked like underneath the shirt. 

The night before, Yamato had gone to bed without a shirt on, and he'd had a clear view of the blonde's smooth, pale back every time he'd turned around to look at him. His eyes trailed upwards to look at the golden blonde hair covering part of Yamato's neck and spreading out over the pillow, seeming to give off some sort of blue glow under the moonlight, as if it were a strange glow-in-the-dark color of hair. 

He looked at the exposed flesh of the blonde's neck, eyes tracing the gentle curve to the shoulder, moving down over the pale, thin arm that disappeared from the elbow down as it curved around the blonde's stomach. Daisuke grinned when he noticed that the hips were slightly curvier than usual for a boy, and he saw that the boy's shirt had ridden up to expose creamy skin. Daisuke blushed when he realized he was fully checking Yamato out while he was asleep. Feeling as if he were cheating the blonde, he turned around and willed himself to get rid of all mental images regarding Yamato. 

He soon found that he couldn't stop thinking of him. Giving into his impulses with a sigh, he shifted around to face the boy again, looking him over. He stilled himself and listened to Yamato's breathing, trying to make sure he was sleeping. When he was fairly sure the boy wouldn't wake up, he reached out and gently ran his fingers over the curve of the boy's neck. He heard Yamato give a small gasp and his heart sunk when Yamato began turning over to face him, eyes looking surprised and confused. 

"Daisuke?" he questioned uncertainly. "What are you doing?"

Daisuke's eyes were wide and his hand was still held in the air. 

"I. . .I don't know?"

He blushed when he realized he was still looking over Yamato's body and shut his eyes, willing himself to disappear or for all of this to be a dream. 

Yamato frowned when the boy shut his eyes and blushed. "Were you checking me out just now?"

"I couldn't help it," Daisuke said weakly, opening his eyes but not lifting them to the blonde. "You look so good."

"Really?" Yamato asked, eyebrows raising, feeling himself blushing as well. 

Daisuke nodded and Yamato felt his heart thudding in his chest. 

"You're. . .attracted to me?"

"Of course I am," Daisuke said quickly, looking away. "I mean, look at you. . .who wouldn't be?"

"I'm attracted to you, too," Yamato admitted. "Well, I think you knew that already."

He noticed that Daisuke had looked up again and was staring at his lips. Yamato swallowed and hoped he wasn't about to screw things up.

"Do you want to kiss me?"

Daisuke raised his eyes to stare into the blonde's and slowly nodded. Yamato took a deep breath and moved forward, closing the distance between them. He paused before leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to Daisuke's lips, shutting his eyes when Daisuke automatically deepened it. Daisuke wrapped his arms around the blonde and gently pulled him on top of him, running a hand through Yamato's hair and moaning softly into their passionate kiss. Yamato kissed him hungrily, obviously having been holding back around the redhead for all of this time. Daisuke sighed when Yamato lowered his head to gently kiss Daisuke's neck, trailing wet kisses down to his shoulder and back up again. Daisuke moaned when Yamato licked and sucked on the tender flesh where the neck curved away to the shoulder, wrapping his arms around Yamato's waist. 

Yamato pulled away, breathing heavily, eyes clouded. "Are you sure you want this?"

Daisuke nodded quickly and pulled him back down to kiss him again. 

"Yes," he breathed in between kisses. Yamato gasped when Daisuke worked a hand into his boxers, stroking him and grasping him. Yamato pulled his t-shirt off and carefully pulled Daisuke's off. He hooked his fingers in the waistband of Daisuke's boxers and paused again.

"Are you _sure_-"

"Yes!" Daisuke insisted, yanking Yamato's boxers down for him. 

"Okay, okay!" Yamato replied, pulling Daisuke's down and off of his body, throwing both boxers over the side of the bed. 

The boxers fell onto the ground along with the rest of the discarded clothing. Soon, the blanket joined them.

~ ~ ~ ~

Daisuke stared at the ceiling, eyes wide. Yamato lay half on top of him, eyes closed peacefully, smiling in his sleep. Daisuke knew he should be basking in the afterglow as well, but he couldn't help but listen to the nagging voice in the back of his mind.

He was still technically going out with Ken. He had just technically been fucked by Yamato. He had just technically cheated on his boyfriend. 

Ken was probably worrying about him, waiting for him to come home, missing him, and there he was, sleeping around behind his back. 

The guilt could probably swallow him whole. He could feel it, the black pit in his stomach that was growing wider with ever second spent under the sleeping blonde, in his bed, in his house, and not in Ken's house. 

Daisuke felt dirty. He also couldn't help but feel a little bit used. He felt like Yamato had taken advantage of him. He had been suffering from withdrawal from his boyfriend's bed, leaving him somewhat horny and wanting physical contact. He hadn't been thinking clearly. If he had, he would never have slept with Yamato. A little voice reminded him that Yamato had asked _twice_ if he was sure he wanted to go through with it, but he ignored the voice. It wasn't as if he was in the right mind to protest against the pleasure he had been craving for four nights. 

He wanted a shower.

Making sure not to wake the blonde, he slid out from under Yamato and crept to the door. After he took a shower, he felt a little cleaner, but he still felt incredibly guilty over what he'd done. 

__

You ruin everything. You fuck up everything good he's given you, like the ungrateful asshole you are.

He cringed and touched two fingers to his temple, feeling a headache coming on. 

"I can't stay here," he decided. He wasn't up to seeing Yamato the next morning, when the weight of their actions that night would surely cave in on them. He began gathering his clothes up in a bag, trying to fit as many of his possessions in as he could. He had made up his mind. He had to go back home to Ken and confess what he had done. Ken wouldn't be happy with him, but Daisuke was fairly sure he would eventually forgive him. After all, Ken loved him, didn't he?

Once he was finished packing, he carried his backpack to the front door. Closing the door behind him, feeling oddly colder than he had inside of the house, he turned and began walking in the direction of his home.


	10. Chapter Ten

A/N: This chapter was so hard to write...and I can't believe it's finally done. I'm still not satisfied with it and I could ramble on about everything I dislike about it, but to tell you the truth this fic has been hanging over my head for too long now and I would like nothing more than to finish it and move on. So without further ado...the last chapter before the epilogue.

Daisuke hesitated before he opened the front door to his home. The inside was unnaturally dark and it took a while for Daisuke's eyes to adjust. He vaguely remembered the house always being this dark and guessed that his absence from it had changed the way his eyes received the house light after walking through the door. He kept his ears peeled for any sign of movement from within the dark recesses of the house. He looked at the clock when he entered the kitchen. It was nearing five o' clock in the morning. Ken would be in bed by then. 

He crept to Ken's - their - room and carefully opened the door. He saw that his boyfriend lay on the bed, facing the wall, dark hair strewn over the pillow and covering the back of his neck, though exposing the bare shoulder sticking out from under the blankets. Daisuke drank in the sight of Ken resting peacefully. He always loved to see Ken sleeping because his eyes were closed and he couldn't see the mad glint in them, and Ken wasn't doing anything to harm anyone. He slipped his hand into his pocket and drew out the gun, walking to his bedside and slipping it underneath the pillow, pressing the pillow down so it didn't look like it was lifted up any more than usual. 

Daisuke crawled into bed and slowly pulled the blankets over himself. He edged closer to Ken until he could feel his body pressing lightly against Ken's. He reached an arm up to reach around Ken and slide down his chest and, since Ken was a light sleeper, felt Ken jerk forward abruptly, turning around and staring at him.

Daisuke watched as Ken stared at him and slowly reached a hand up to touch his cheek.

"You're real," Ken observed softly.

Daisuke sighed softly and nodded, leaning into the caress. 

"Where have you been?" Ken asked worriedly.

Daisuke took a deep breath and readied himself for the response to his confession. He couldn't hold it back from Ken any longer; he simply had to tell his boyfriend everything.

"I went to Yamato's house and stayed there for a while...and last night, I sort of...slept with him. But I don't love him, I only love you. I don't know why I had sex with him, I must have been going insane without you by that time, but all that matters is I'm here with you now, right?"

Daisuke braced himself as he waited for a few agonizing seconds for his confession to sink in. He savored the silence and at first thought Ken was going to forgive him and forget it ever happened. He reached up to touch Ken and show him he loved only him, but a sharp pain that knocked his head to the side and made his eyes shut hard stopped him. Daisuke turned to stare at Ken, his eyes filling with hurt as he touched his throbbing cheek. Ken narrowed his eyes, not looking at all sorry that he'd just slapped Daisuke with the flat of his palm.

"How dare you leave me here, for God knows how long, all fucking alone and just waiting for you to come home from wherever the hell it was you went off to?! I was so worried, I thought something horrible had happened to you! Now you come back and touch me while I'm asleep like nothing fucking happened and everything's honky-fucking-dory, and it's NOT! You're touching me with the fingers that touched some other guy a few hours ago, and you expect me to just forgive you? I warned you about him, but you didn't listen, insisting he didn't want to take you away from me, but he did. He stole you and used you and gave you back still used, and I will NOT touch anything that has been used in such a disgusting way."

Daisuke stared hard at the sheets he was gripping in his fists, biting his lip to keep back the hot tears threatening to spill. He absolutely hated to be yelled at by Ken. He couldn't stand the thought of Ken being angry with him. His cheek stilled throbbed dully.

"I...I'm sorry."

"Sorry?! You're sorry?!" Ken laughed, and it sounded choked, and when Daisuke looked up he could see Ken was holding tears back as well. His heart ached horribly at the hurt, betrayed look in his boyfriend's eyes, knowing he caused him to feel that way. "He's sorry!" Ken announced to no one, holding his hands up to indicate the boy before him. "He's sorry!"

"Ken, please stop," Daisuke whispered, looking to the side and feeling a teardrop travel down his cheek and crawl over his nose to drip off of the end. His throat hurt and he didn't think he could raise his voice beyond a whisper. 

"No," Ken grumbled through clenched teeth, eyes going from betrayed to angry to hateful all too easily and quickly. Daisuke recognized the transition and yelped, turning around to crawl off of the bed. Ken grabbed hold of his shirt and yanked on it, causing Daisuke to bite his tongue as the collar of his shirt choked him and he fell back onto the bed.

He cried out a name into the darkness that was not Ken's name; it was the last name Ken wanted to hear at that moment, and only angered him further. It was not the first time Daisuke cried that name out that night, nor was it the last.

~ ~ ~ ~

Yamato's eyes were shadowed by the hair hanging in front of his face, and since they were not visible to the crowd before him, no one could see the hurt and sorrow built up and shining in the dark blue pools of his eyes. However, when the last song started, Yamato gripped his guitar in a display of what could easily be strong determination and he shook the hair back from his face, revealing to the audience the emotions the song put into him. The song was originally written to be sung by a female, but Yamato couldn't care less about the fact and merely switched the genders implied in the lyrics as he sang.

__

Go on and hold him 'til the screaming is gone

Go on believe him when he tells you nothing's wrong

But I'm the only one who'll walk across the fire for you

And I'm the only one who'll drown in my desire for you

It's only fear that makes you run 

The demons that you're hiding from

When all your promises are gone

I'm the only one

He felt his eyes burning as he struggled not to let a tear escape while he was on stage, knowing the person he was singing to was not in the crowd that night. He couldn't help it, though, when he closed his eyes and a tear slid down his pale cheek as he screamed out the last line once again, making it sound like a truth he had been hiding from everyone but himself for decades.

__

I'm the only one

Once the crowd had scattered and people had stopped patting his shoulder and inquiring about the tears he'd shown on stage that night, Yamato sat on top of an amp and strummed his guitar, no longer plugged into the amp and playing for only his ears. He felt more than saw the two people sitting down on either side of him, both turned towards him with concern etched onto their faces.

Yamato stopped strumming his guitar and shut his eyes, leaning down to rest his forehead against the cool surface of the guitar. Waking up that morning to find Daisuke gone from not only his bed, but from his house, with no trace of the boy ever having resided there, had given Yamato a surprisingly deep gash in his still bleeding heart. 

Sora frowned and reached a hand up to stroke the blonde's hair out of his face. Taichi sighed and rested a hand on Yamato's shoulder from his other side, offering silent support. 

"You really do love him," Taichi murmured quietly, almost as if speaking to himself and not his best friend.

"I didn't know," Yamato said just as softly, lifting his head once again to stare through narrow eyes at the spot at the back of the restaurant where Daisuke usually sat and watched him, "that losing him would hurt this much."

"Who says you've lost him?" Sora asked, trying to look on the bright side. "Maybe he just needed to be alone for a while."

"Why doesn't he want to be with me?" Yamato asked, without turning to either of them, continuing to stare blankly at that same spot.

"Why don't you go after him?" Taichi asked, his voice showing confusion that had struck Taichi the second he realized the blonde hadn't done a thing about Daisuke leaving Yamato's house. 

"He obviously wants to live somewhere else," Yamato said. "With a relative, a friend, who knows?"

Taichi paused, his hand tightening on his shoulder hard enough to make him turn and stare at his brunette friend. "What?"

Yamato blinked at him. "Well, where else would he have gone?"

"Back to Ken," Taichi said in a voice that clearly indicated he thought it was the truth.

"No, he wouldn't go back to Ken," Yamato said a little too quickly. "I finally got him to see that Ken was wrong and only wanted to hurt him. He's safe now from that monster, but I don't know where he went."

"Yamato, Daisuke doesn't have any friends...and after his father practically disowned him from their family, don't you think it'd be a very slim chance that one relative wouldn't mind going against the family and taking him in?" Sora asked, staring at him.

"Ken had a very tight hold on Daisuke's mind, Yama," Taichi cut in, making Yamato turn from Sora back to him again. "It won't be broken in just a few day's time."

"What makes you so convinced Daisuke went back to Ken's house?" Yamato asked, suspicion creeping into his voice.

Taichi looked away uncomfortably and then looked back at Yamato in a sorry-I-had-to-be-the-one-to-break-it-to-you way. Yamato gulped and gripped his guitar even harder. 

"I saw him walk down the sidewalk and slip into that house last night," Taichi said slowly.

Yamato stared at him for a while as it sunk in. He remembered Taichi lived just down the street from Ken's house, and that was why it had been so easy to drive Daisuke home that first night, since he'd recognized the street name and address.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Yamato asked, the icy edge to his voice sounding a little dangerous and too calm for the situation.

Taichi shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I thought you would have guessed. Plus, I didn't want to be the one to break the news to you, though I guess I ended up doing it anyway."

"So you decided to let me find out on my own? You idiot!" Yamato screeched, pounding Taichi's arm with his fist. 

Taichi hurriedly tried to scoot far away from the angry blonde and Sora yanked on Yamato's arm to try and stop him from pummeling her boyfriend. She got up to stand in front of Yamato and shook him lightly, making the blonde forget wanting to beat Taichi up and stare at her. 

"Yamato, you have to go and save him! Who knows what Ken's done to him by this time?"

"He'll have told Ken the truth," Yamato said, voice shaking slightly. "I know Daisuke enough to know that he can't keep secrets from Ken without feeling immensely guilty."

Yamato stood up immediately, taking Sora by surprise as she lost her grip on his shoulders and stumbled back a step or two. 

"I'm going to go save him!"

"Wait!" Taichi cried, waving frantically after Yamato as he took off to the entrance of the restaurant. "I have an idea!"

Yamato skidded to a stop, turning to glare breathlessly at the brunette for stopping him so suddenly. "_What_?"

Taichi held a finger up in a silent plea for Yamato to give him a minute as he held a cell phone up to his ear. He paused a few seconds and then asked, "Yes, can I have a phone number for a Motomiya-san in the Odaiba area?"

Yamato's eyes widened in shock and he waved his arms around, mouthing, "No!" over and over. Taichi shushed him and nodded, pulling a pen out from his pocket and scribbling a number on his hand.

"Uh-huh, thanks a lot. Bye." He hung up and began dialing again, staring at the number on his hand and then dialing it into the phone. Yamato had given up waving at him and sighed in exasperation as he walked back towards his friends.

"Hello, Motomiya-san? I'm a friend of Daisuke's. Are you still pissed off at your son?"

Taichi paused and grinned to himself. 

"Would you change your mind if I told you he could be dying as we speak?"

~ ~ ~ ~

"Did you call the cops?"

"Yeah," a gruff voice answered him from somewhere to the right.

Yamato nodded and once again peeked out from behind the corner of the building at the only completely dark house in the row of houses they were facing. 

"Want to go in and kick some ass, or should we have to wait for the cops to get here and let them handle it?"

"I could do with some ass-kicking myself," the man answered him in a cynical but honest voice. 

"Me too," Yamato responded with a twisted grin. 

They made their way over the street and the front lawn of the dark house and carefully leaned against the front door, listening for sounds from within. 

"I think it's clear," Motomiya-san said quickly, grasping at the doorknob and jerking it in his haste to get inside and find his son. 

Yamato had been delighted to learn that Daisuke's father had begun to regret his decision of kicking Daisuke out of the house, and the instant Yamato had filled him in on what his son had to live with since he couldn't live at his original home, Motomiya-san had immediately asked for the address so he could march over and take his son away from the horrible lifestyle he was being forced to lead now.

Yamato had been all too happy to take him to the house, where they were now creeping through the living room and eyeing the destruction within carefully and with a hint of fear for Daisuke's safety. Yamato stepped over an upturned lamp and Motomiya-san warned him to be careful not to step on broken glass, for there seemed to be an abundance of it littering the floor.

They heard a pain-filled moan coming from the bedroom and, after looking at each other in a heart-stopping second, they ran to find the source of the sound. They found Daisuke huddled up on the carpeted floor with a large dark red stain spread out underneath him. A bloody knife lay near his body and the name "Ken" written in katakana was carved into the flesh on the underside of Daisuke's arm, undoubtedly the cause of all of the blood on the floor. 

Yamato carefully moved towards Daisuke, swallowing the bile rising in his throat as he carefully avoided looking at the place where Ken had attempted to leave his mark and claim on Daisuke. He ran his fingers through sweat-soaked hair and Daisuke cracked his eyes open to stare at Yamato. His eyes clouded in confusion and he tried to sit up. "Yamato?"

"Just lay down," Yamato said gently, pressing down on Daisuke's chest so he lay still on the floor once again. "I brought your father," he added with a careful smile.

Daisuke's eyes widened even further as he watched his father, the man who had kicked him out of the house and claimed he was dead to him now and forevermore, carefully reached down to rest a hand on Daisuke's unmarked arm in assurance. "We'll get you out of here. Just tell us where he is."

Daisuke's body began to shake and tears spilled out of Daisuke's eyes. "T-the b-bathroom," Daisuke managed to whisper. Yamato turned to look at Motomiya-san and the man stared back into eyes filled with more mixed hate, fear and love than he'd ever witnessed in his life. 

"Can I go and kill him?"

"Wait for the police," Motomiya-san replied, resting his other hand on Yamato's shoulder. Yamato nodded slowly and hung his head as he also began to shiver, silent tears slipping down his cheeks. 

His head shot up when they heard the door being thrown open and sirens wailing from outside of the house. Daisuke shifted to try and see through the doorway as the Odaiba city police force began searching the house for Ken and paramedics rushed to get him onto a stretcher. 

As Daisuke tried to get settled onto the stretcher, he heard a familiar voice shouting and demanding to be let go, and he looked up to stare at the boy he'd been devoted to for the past couple of years as he was carried away by the police. Ken turned to meet his eyes once before being taken outside, and Daisuke shivered when he saw the betrayal and hurt in his eyes had been at least tripled. 

Daisuke panicked at first when he learned Yamato could not ride in the ambulance with him, but his father was able to go along with him, and that comforted him somewhat, now understanding that his father was no longer angry at him. As the doors of the back of the ambulance closed, Yamato called out to him that he'd be at the hospital right away and not to worry, that it was going to be okay. 

On the ride to the hospital, his father told him about how horrible he felt when he realized Daisuke was living such a bad life away from home, and that he felt it was his fault that he'd been subjected to such torture and had to face it all alone, with no one to talk to about it. Daisuke almost cried when his father asked him to move back in and he promised his father that he would. 

Yamato sat with his elbows resting on his knees and his fists pressed against each other, resting his chin on top of them and staring at the white tile. Motomiya-san returned to his chair after turning in the forms he'd just finished filling out. Yamato straightened up and looked over at him, eyes shimmering with the weight of so many strong emotions that he had felt in such a small amount of time. 

Motomiya-san lifted a hand to rest on top of his hair, which was surprisingly messy from running around and pulling at it in fits of worrying all day long. Yamato felt touched by the small gesture of acceptance and understanding and his face twisted as he leaned forward against the man's shoulder to sob silently. Motomiya-san didn't pull away or ask him to remove himself, feeling a deep liking for the boy that had helped him save his son, who he knew loved his son very much. 

He still felt weird about his son loving another boy, but he had understood the look in Yamato's eyes earlier that day when they'd found Daisuke on the floor and he didn't dare question it and decided to just accept it. When the nurse came to tell them both that Daisuke's arm had been bandaged and he was going to be just fine, Motomiya-san allowed himself to cry a few tears as well.


	11. Epilogue

A/N: Epilogue-a-go-go! And I'll be done with Nihilistic forever. There's a rather long author's note that you don't have to read at the end of this chapter...skip it if you want to. Just a small note in case you care. Anyways, enjoy the last installment in Nihilistic. I thank all of you readers very much and I love you all. Especially...

Burned Vamp, Akuro, Aero-Grrl, Sillie, Ryo-chan, LadySiri, and Apple from Mars (you gave me the first review for this story ever O.o')! **Gives hugs and hot chocolate to each of them** Goodie. Anyways, I will shut up now since you're here for the story and not my author's note... -_-'

It's been four years since Daisuke last looked at the house he spent the hardest part of his life in. He's now nineteen, finally going to college after five years of high school. He'd been required to repeat his freshman year of high school since he had been kicked out, and he went to a different high school in the city next to his to continue his education. He's going to the same college Yamato is already attending, not entirely because he wishes to be near Yamato every day (that is only part of the reason), but also because they have a plan. 

They will attend the Tamachi University of Culinary Arts until Yamato is learned enough in the art of cooking to get a good job in a restaurant, working his way up to the position of master chef. Daisuke will continue in his education until he is also at that level, and by this time Yamato will have garnered enough money with his full-time job (and Daisuke with his part-time job as a waiter in another restaurant) to open up a restaurant of their own, with the two of them as the master chefs. That is their goal, their dream, and the one thing they most look forward to as they drive to college for Daisuke's first day as a college student.

Daisuke and Yamato live together in Yamato's apartment. Daisuke moved in as soon as he left high school, with permission granted with relief from his father, who was quite ready to shove Daisuke out of his house and into his new grown-up life. It isn't that his father was sick of having Daisuke around; in fact, ever since the incident four years before, Daisuke and his father had developed quite a great understanding of each other. However, Motomiya-san felt that it simply wasn't right for a nineteen-year-old to still be living with his parents. 

As for the fate of the "villain" of this story...

The judge that had taken care of the trial of one Ken Ichijouji had declared him insane. The judge had immediately hunted for the proper place to send Ken. He found a regimented hospital devoted to the mental care of patients with cruel tendencies which Ken's parents were willing to pay commitment for. Ken was shipped off and Daisuke had never heard from him since. 

~ ~ ~ ~  


That late afternoon, Daisuke threw the door to their apartment open and ran forward to throw himself onto the couch. 

"The classes are so boring," he whined. 

Yamato smiled at him as he walked into the apartment and shut the door behind himself. 

"Why do we have to take our basics anyways? Why can't I get straight to the cooking?" Daisuke continued to whine.

"Everyone has to take their basics first," Yamato replied. "When I first started going to college, I did, too."

"But it's so pointless. It's not like I'm ever going to use Calculus in my life ever again anyways."

"What about when you need to figure out how much money your restaurant is making?"

"Yamato, what do you think calculators are for? Add up what you've earned, subtract whatever you spent to pay the bills. It's that simple," Daisuke replied.

"Not always," Yamato responded, going over to the couch and sitting on the end, reaching a hand out to grab the remote control. He turned the TV on.

Daisuke sat up and turned his body to face the TV, staring intently at the news channel Yamato was watching. He had gotten used to Yamato's fascination with the news early on in the relationship and no longer argued with him over changing the channel or tried to forcefully take the remote away.

"I'm hungry."

"It's my turn to cook for us. What do you want to eat?"

Yamato shut the TV off and began walking to the kitchen. Daisuke got up and followed, smiling happily and thinking of all of the great food plates Yamato made that he loved to eat. 

"I want lasagna."

"How did I know you'd say that? I make other things besides pasta, you know."

"At least it's not ramen."

It had become a private joke between the two of them that Daisuke only loved Yamato for his wonderful ability to make the best ramen Daisuke had ever tasted. Daisuke's favorite kind of food was pasta, and he especially had a soft spot for the ramen the blonde cooked especially for him, called his Daisuke Ramen Special. 

It was a tradition they shared that every evening for dinner, one would prepare a meal chosen by the other. They alternated nights, and tonight was Yamato's night to cook dinner for them. 

"It's still pasta."

"Okay, okay, I'll choose something else."

"No, it's fine. I'll make lasagna for you."

Yamato gave him a soft smile and Daisuke leaned forward to kiss the blonde on the lips.

"Ah, and I'm not even wearing my Kiss The Cook apron today. I feel so special."

"You are," Daisuke assured him, seating himself on the counter and settling down for yet another round of watching Yamato cook and prepare his food. 

While he watched the blonde, he let his mind wander back over the years to the time in his life he was trying to forget. He remembered how reluctant he was at first to get into a relationship with Yamato for the first few months after Ken had his trial and was taken away. Yamato, however, had stuck around for the younger boy as a friend, and Taichi and Sora had also offered their friendship to Daisuke. Daisuke didn't think he could ever have made it through that first year of high school in a strange, new place if it hadn't been for the fact that he knew he had friends back at home that cared about him. 

A whole year after the tragedy in his life finally ended, Daisuke accepted Yamato's often-given offer of love. At first, Yamato could hardly believe Daisuke had finally said yes to him, but one they had gotten over the first date and the first week of being a couple, they found that they were quite comfortable around each other, and it was pretty much smooth sailing after that. 

"Daisuke, where's the garlic?"

Daisuke was startled out of his thoughts and he blinked at Yamato. "What?"

"The garlic. For the bread." 

"Oh, it's...right over here." Daisuke slid down from the counter and went to search through the refrigerator. "Here." He handed it to Yamato.

"Thanks," the blonde muttered distractedly, immediately turning around and getting back to work. 

Daisuke smiled. When Yamato was cooking, you couldn't distract him with anything short of the entire apartment exploding. Yamato dedicated all of his attention to his cooking when he was busy with it. Daisuke was slowly getting to that point where he was that distracted. His head still popped up whenever something fell onto the floor, or whenever the phone or doorbell rang, but it took him a while to respond to anyone if they tried to talk to him while he was cooking. 

"Okay, now all we have to do is wait until it's cool enough to serve."

Daisuke's head shot up. He noticed it was darker outside than it had been before, and Yamato had the kitchen counter on the other side of the kitchen covered in ingredients. He began putting things back where they belonged and Daisuke slid off of the counter to help him.

Daisuke couldn't believe the blonde could make such delicious food. They ate dinner slowly that night, savoring each bite. Daisuke truly believed that Yamato's pasta was his specialty. There was no other food in the world Daisuke preferred to Yamato's pasta. Yamato smiled as he looked at Daisuke's face while he ate. Many emotions passed over that same face, all of them pleasant to the eye. Yamato was very proud when it came to his cooking, but when it came to preparing food for Daisuke, Yamato secretly needed approval more than anything. It wasn't so bad that if Daisuke said he didn't like the taste of a food dish Yamato prepared then the blonde's confidence would shatter completely, never to return again, but Yamato did appreciate Daisuke's opinion of his food more than anyone else's.

One great thing about having Daisuke as his own personal food-tester was that Yamato knew Daisuke was his greatest critic. Daisuke was still learning how to be an excellent cook, but he had the strange gift of excellent taste. Daisuke could taste a meal and tell you where you had gone wrong in preparing it. He could tell you which ingredients you used too much of and which ingredients you needed to include more of. With Daisuke around to tell him how to better prepare his meals, Yamato was able to perfect himself and his cooking. 

"That was great, Yama-chan," Daisuke told him once he'd finished, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied grin. "Though you might want to ease up a little on the amount of garlic you put on the bread."

"Will do, Dai-chan," Yamato replied happily. The end-of-the-meal comments on his food were lessening day by day, and Yamato knew he was getting better and better at cooking. 

~ ~ ~ ~

Such was the daily life of Daisuke Motomiya and Yamato Ishida. Daisuke's father leant the two more than enough money to buy the lot where they would someday walk to work every morning to cook their meals for the populations of Odaiba and Tamachi. 

Yamato bought Daisuke a puppy that was never tortured or killed in any sort of brutal way. Daisuke didn't hesitate in naming the puppy Mukai, in honor of his deceased dog, who Daisuke had proclaimed should have been named Mukai during its short life a couple of days after they gave the dog its funeral and last goodbye. 

Yamato, Daisuke, and Mukai lived a peaceful life in their apartment for a few years before they finally built their dream house and moved in together, where they spent half of the rest of their lives (the other half was spent at the restaurant.)

They never so much as heard Ken Ichijouji's name again, and he soon become nothing more than a bad memory in the most nether regions of Daisuke's mind.

A/N: Okay, you can skip this and just review now if you want. This is just a note as to why exactly I picked Mukai's name as such. (This is how you can tell that I can get obsessed with my own stories...I stick symbolism in them.) Well, the following is what I wrote as a side note when I was in the process of writing the ninth or tenth chapter: 

Mukai - Daisuke's deceased dog's name - Japanese word for "innocence"

Daisuke names the dog Mukai to honor his deceased dog. The original Mukai's death was symbolic of Daisuke's slow, gradual stripping of all innocence from years of being with Ken and witnessing his own life going down the drain due to this relationship. Ken attempts to destroy Mukai much in the same way he destroys Daisuke's innocence, and Daisuke is the one to deliver the final blow, and in that moment, all innocence Daisuke might have been able to cling onto was lost. He killed it himself to relieve the pain of going through it's slow loss, the same way he did the dog. Ken promises not to hurt Mukai, much in the same way he promised Daisuke never to hurt him at the very beginning of their relationship, and fails to keep both of these vital promises. However, Mukai's death triggers the opening up of the floodgate of anger Daisuke has kept building up inside of him after all of those years spent as Ken's boyfriend, allowing him to finally sever all hurtful connection with Ken and move on with his life (with Yamato faithfully keeping by his side).

Yes, and that was so unneeded! I could have named the thing any old name, but no, I had to attach deep meaning behind the name and turn the whole freaking dog character into a symbol. If you've read this whole thing, I thank you for your patience with me. You can review now. I'm done. O.o'


End file.
